[Yorinee00]

Okay, so this morning she was listening to some music sung by a Japanese singer.
The singer is quite famous in Japan... but I personally think he's not that good (pretty bad actually lol). Again, this is MY opinion.

I was just washing the dishes minding my own business and when he sung a high note (which he did awfully in my opinion), I just kind of sung along with him in a jokingly way. Which I always do for fun and my mother usually laughs along with me. Then I said "I don't really like his voice. It's not THAT good."

And then oh my goodness, she starts to get SUPER angry. She decides to go all out on me and starts to get all offensive.

This is her... literally: "You can't call him a bad singer. He's famous for a reason. When you call him a bad singer you're basically calling the whole country stupid. You're saying that everyone in Japan doesn't have good taste in music and that you're better than all of them. And by that you're also calling me stupid for liking him as a singer. You think that the singers you like are the best (I like k-pop lol) but they're actually not good at all. You just blindly like them because they're good looking. I bet you're going to blindly choose a husband as well."

OKAY. WOAH THERE. Was it really necessary to go to that extreme? Was it that wrong for me to express my opinion on something? She's jumping to all these conclusions, which I don't even know where they came from. Then she also disses me at the end... which really pissed me off.

She hasn't been talking to me for 5 hours now... and I don't feel like I need to talk to her either. She's the adult here... but I feel like she's acting so immature.

Please tell me where I went wrong.

[Trippin2.0]

Nowhere.


Your mother went wrong, and only she knows why, but it definitely has nothing to do with music.

Something else is eating at her.

[NewCommer]

Then again, if you see what's wrong, set the example.
She's an adult, and might be passing for some rough time (i'm guessing at this point), most of the times someone acts like this it's because of similar reasons. Show her how mature you can be.
Believe me, most people regret almost instantly reacting the way your mother did. Forgive her, in my opinion, is the best thing you could do.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Yorinee00: Personally, I suspect that resentment has been building up in your mom over this for a while. Up to now she's laughed & gone along with the joke. But she finally reached a point where it was simply too much for her & she went off on you. Maybe there was also something else going on with her as well that contributed to her sudden loss of tolerance. How she reacted was certainly inappropriate... particularly the crack about choosing a husband. But she was hurt & she lashed out. It is a common human foible.

I'm personally sensitive to this sort of thing. I'm an older person now. But growing up, my father in particular, reveled in mocking anything I did that he thought was out of the ordinary; or that he didn't particularly like. And in my case, I simply had to put up with it. If I had said anything, I'd have probably gotten smacked. My wife frequently watches TV programs that I personally think are just stupid & would never watch under any circumstances. I not infrequently feel the urge to make some disparaging comment. But I work really hard to hold my tongue because I know what it was like to have something I enjoyed made fun of.

I wish you well...

[Yorinee00]

Thanks everyone who replied!

[Yorinee00]

also I'm still trying to figure out how to work this. So sorry for the posts. lol

[Yorinee00]

[QUOTE=Skeezyks;5172812]Hello Yorinee00: Personally, I suspect that resentment has been building up in your mom over this for a while. Up to now she's laughed & gone along with the joke. But she finally reached a point where it was simply too much for her & she went off on you. Maybe there was also something else going on with her as well that contributed to her sudden loss of tolerance. How she reacted was certainly inappropriate... particularly the crack about choosing a husband. But she was hurt & she lashed out. It is a common human foible.

@Skeezyks: Thanks for your insight on this, really. The thing with my mom is that she often criticizes on my taste of music and interests as well. But when she does it, it is okay. Because apparently my taste in almost everything is wrong and not as good as hers. I usually don't say anything because if I do...then this is what happens.

I was just feeling a little upbeat this morning so I decided to sing along. And with that I just made a little comment on his singing abilities, just for fun.
And I honestly can't think of anything that she could have made her THIS stressed to lash out on me like that. Because these past 3 weeks I have been cooking 3 meals a day, doing housework, and everything, while she just did her work from home.

I'm sorry, I'm ranting...but it's been around 8 hours since she has last talked to me, and it's getting on my nerves. I just don't understand how this little thing could make her THIS angry. I find it very illogical.

[healingme4me]

I wish that I had answers. It does come accross illogical how she reacted over a criticism of 1 singer. 1 singer cannot possibly represent an entire demographic. Then to toss in a personal attack over a future husband was a low blow.

Can't understand where it would come from, as it's unknown what she's exposed to in her own experience. Hope you can both come to some resolution and compromise. Not sure. Seems a common affliction. 😬😕

Sending you hugs and a sense that you are not alone.