[ratherbcrazy]

Recently got emailed a free trial to Match.com and have been using it since July 3. I'm guessing most would say it's pretty early to expect anything and that's why I'm asking for any tips those who have had success can share. Don't have to been Match.com specific as all the popular sites seem similar. Thank you.

[Skeezyks]

Hello ratherbcrazy: I'm afraid your question is one with which the Skeezyks has no experience. Hopefully some other members, here on PC, who have had experience with this sort of thing will come along & reply. In the meantime however this appears to be your first Thread here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[divine1966]

I just got happily married. Met online so the answer is yes. It's no different than dating anywhere else. It just gives you more options

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[therapyishelping777]

Eharmony has really stunk the last 7 months.. gives such limited matches and just no luck there.. whereas Tinder and ok cupid have been decent with leads..and I know 3 people that have gotten great results with POF.. even though I personally have gotten some strange ones on there.. but... now that I see others results I may try again.

[NewCommer]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I just got happily married. Met online so the answer is yes. It's no different than dating anywhere else. It just gives you more options

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Congratulations

[Crazy Hitch]

I met my bf through Eharmony. 4 months later we're still going strong

[Talthybius]

I believe there are tons of fake profiles on those sites. And I believe that as long as the number of male members is much much bigger than the number of female members, as a male your disadvantage is exactly as big as that ratio is. Supply and demand. Your value as a male decreases by the same factor as the difference in males and females. Females can be much more picky on a dating site, when it is 10 males for 1 female compared to the real world, where it is close to 50%.

[nicoleflynn]

I have been on numerous sites for 10 years. Not agood experience,but I won't give up.

I disgree with the suggestion of using sites like Tinder, Plenty of Fish, etc. These are primarily 'hook-up' sites; people looking for action and less likely for a relationship. I place Craigslist and Kijiji in the same vein. It is really hard also to vet people out on such a site. I think you are better off with 'dating' sites like, eharmony, match, elite singles, etc. There are also several sites for people with disabilities including mental illness.

A word of advice, I would avoid the free ones. They tend to be people trying to just hook-up and are full of people trying to prey upon the emotionally vulnerable. It is actually a good idea to google phrases of what the other party sends you. It is amazing how many cons use the same words over and over. I found many fraudsters this way.

Other recommendations? Meet the individual in real life as soon as possible in the 'relationship'. Never lend money. Ask for other pictures (a fraudster usually only has one misappropriated profile picture). And never settle and concede.

Finally I personally had a very negative and positive experiences. I know of several others in the same boat.

Hope this all helps.

[divine1966]

Yes tinder, OK Cupid and pof are primarily hook up sites. They are free and usually aren't for anyone seriously inclined.

Educated professionals use other sites.

When you start talking to a person and consider meeting Google their name and see what shows up.

I do have to say that even paid sites have scammers so you need to be hyper vigilant about your safety

I don't know what people complain they didn't get matches on eharmony. I know it's more selective. I believe you do need to be employed to be on there but otherwise I got tons of matches when I started dating. My now husband also had a ton. Most matches were from similar occupations. Maybe it depends what you do for a living

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[therapyishelping777]

Divine,

I think Eharmony was really good like 10 years ago, more selective,, but this last round I've had 3 men who were still marrried, one fresh out of prison.. just not good pickings.. I know 3 people, one Dr, my sister who works for 911 and has degree in psyc, and a gal I work with who is super picky who all met theirs on pof.. I thought it was crazy because I had such a bad experience there. I've had 2 therapist suggest Tinder/and ok cupid.. which are both free. You guys are right.. there are definately scammers and alot of guys looking to hook up.. I think if you know that and sift through that. there is a possiblity like those I know who are married and in serious good relationships. on like pof etc.. I wouldn't have said that 6 months ago... its strange.. I met a guy on eharmony who seemed to be in a hurry.. he sent his email which had his full name.. i looked it up.. he had major rap sheet of domestics. false imprisonment, kidnapping.. etc.. never emailed him... so I totally suggest looking up on court websites asap.. with anyone.. it can't hurt!!

[Epicurus]

They can work but just know there are very frustrating issues. Fake profiles and paid restrictions have me giving up within a week. Best of luck my friend!

[Artchic528]

Yeah, I second eHarmony as a scam. I applied to that site and all I get is one big old page saying "We can't match you at this time". It's a waste of cyberspace IMHO.

[fairydustgirl]

I joined match, eharmony and zoosk all at the same time. I'm not employed, I'm retired.
I met two people, one was an older man and was pretty nice but had a lot of health problems that I was not prepared to deal with. The other one I liked a lot but the friendship has ended after 4 months.
What I didn't like about eharmony is that I was not able to choose the ages of the men I wanted to be matched with. Also there were other parameters that weren't observed as far as who I hoped to be matched with.
zoosk actually had nicer men on it and I did talk to several there. again, some of the men with health problems that were severe. (stroke, cancer, seizures)

I read that it is a numbers game, you have to contact lots of people to get responses. I found myself overwhelmed and very anxious so I stopped going to the sites.
But plenty of people have had success with it, so if you are ok with it, keep on trying.

[Burnt_Out]

They work if you follow the two cardinal rules:

1. Be attractive
2. Don't be unattractive









I apparently cannot follow the rules.

I thought I found the man of my dreams. We really were well matched. But I was hurt. Once an internet schmoozer always an internet schmoozer.

My current boyfriend came along when I wasn't even looking.