[Marylin]

My niece has been very supportive while I was having the trouble and seprating from my narcissist sister(her mum) and my narcissist mother.
I enjoyed a good two months seeing quite a lot of her and getting the chance to have a good moan get it all of my chest.

My niece is 18 and she is going to university in September this year.She is growing up and has a life she is growing into quite well.I have to let go of her now and won't see her so much.We were meant to go for coffee this week before her holiday,she is off abroad with her mates,but we can't go for coffee she is too busy!She is performing in a band and has mates over from the US.

I am trying not to be offended and take it personally.I am all alone now you see and was leaning on her for company too much I think,I have to let her go now and give her the time and space and privacy she needs and has a right to.

It was lovely that she supported me but I now see that I have to let her live her life without me and let her choose if and when she wants to see me.
I have to focus on my life and meeting people to have in it.I am happy to do that,it does get difficult being alone so much of the time and I am scared if I am honest.I am scared to be alone in the world with no one to care and there is absolutely no one if I run out of money to help or in an emergency and that is scary.I have fears of having no money coming in or losing my home.They are just fears ,that hasn't happened in 35 years why would it happen now?

I actually am better off financially alone.I spend far too much of my money taking my niece out and when I was seeing the narcs they manipulated me into spending my money on them,so I have more for me now.

It is lovely to see my niece grown up and looking forward to the future and enjoying her life now with her friends and with so much to do.

I am looking forward to discovering who I am without the narcs abusing me and holding me back.Things are peaceful now for me,long may it continue.

It is difficult being a people person not having people to share my day's news and achievements with, I feel like I need to appreciate the things I do as for myself rather than to share with others,that is new to me.I am very sharing and caring.But in the past I have loved and cared for the wrong people who didn't care for me.I am making a new beginning now.I hope it goes well for me.

I have treated myself to a bracelet saying survivor and a pendant engraved with 'what doesn't kill me,makes me stronger'.

I know that feeling of 'letting go' when they (nieces/own offspring) branch out, it's lovely like you say, but it can leave a gap.

It's good to be self reliant too, but do you have social/support/groups where you can be around people? It's good to both share and care IMO, especially if that is in your nature.

[Skeezyks]

}}} Marylin ! {{{