My husband doesn't care about me- shall I leave him?

I’m 42 this year and I have been suffering viginumus for all my life and I never manage to have an intercourse due to pain. My husband has not abandon me but at the same time he is not supportive. He always said that this my problem and I need to sort it out myself. I have tried very hard to overcome this but it was not easy. Every few months he will had a go at me and I will push myself to try harder but I was not getting the right result. Until in the last year, I have managed to see a therapist plus using the recommended kit and I managed to insert all the dilators including the largest size. However, until now I have not try to have an intercourse with my husband because he told me that he is not interested in me anymore.

He said over the years he had try to use other ways to satisfy his sex desire. He has been watching porn, flirting with other woman etc. My heart was so hurt when I found out these. He has become completely disconnect and we have no intimacy. Sometimes his temple is bad and will be angry at me even I said nothing wrong. He kept saying it was my fault that our happy marriage was going this way. He said that I should have tried harder many years ago and he is now completely disappointed with me. I felt bad because he has been waited for me for so many years and I really hope that one day he will change his mind.

We have moved to a new country about 16 months ago and he has changed completely. He doesn’t care about me anymore and have been staying late and not come home. Sometimes he will leave home for few days and ignore my call or text. He said he needs space and just want me to leave him alone. He also openly told me that he wants a new life and want to have normal sex life. I told him that we should try getting some professional help but he refused.

I don’t know what I can do to resolve my current situation., I felt like he is not interested in continuing our marriage, he is staying because of responsibility. I still love him and will wait for him accept me again. It is getting worse everyday and I don’t know if I can handle the rejection and emotional torture any longer.

Can anyone please give me some advice? I don’t have anyone who is suffering this condition to share my feelings with. One of my close friend advised me to just leave my husband and start a new life again.

I think you should make a list of Reasons To Leave and Reasons To Stay. Do what is best for you. I hope you can get the right doctor to help with your condition. I think the romantic relationship with your husband is certainly long over and he does stay because of responsibility.

I am sorry you both suffer.

Please continue to have heart-to-heart talks as often as possible.

Have you continued to get help for your challenging condition?
I am sorry you both did not see a way to attend joint therapy together long ago.

It can be very difficult to recover a romantic relationship, yet not always impossible.

If you truly want to mend your relationship with him, show him how much he means to you (in very healthy ways). He likely feels "rejected" by you on some level. You may also feel rejected.

Any chance of you both seeing a marital (sex) therapist together?

I am so sorry for the pain you both endure.
Move forward with healing measures, individually and collectively.

My best to you both,
WC

It sounds like your husband had decided you and him are over in the respect of making your sex life work,do you think he is making it with women outside of your marriage?You say he stays out late and for days at a time.It does seem like he hs found love elsewhere or sexual gratification of some sort.

Can you face it if your marriage is over?I am sorry if this is hurtful.
Don't you deserve a man who will help you overcome your sexual difficulties and be willing to work on them with you together and in therapy?You are still young and deserve that,if not with your husband then with someone else.I hope you can face the future whatever comes with a view to focusing on your self and what you need and deserve.