[MickeyCheeky]

I'm starting to acknowledge that I don't really "feel" love for my parents..
What I mean is that, I don't feel sorry for them if something goes wrong in their lives, and everytime I do them a favor, even if it is something i don't want to do, or I can't do, I do it more for fear (of what they could do if I disobey them).

I should also mention that during this past year two grandparents of mine have died, and yet I didn't even shed a tear. Granted, I didn't spend that much time with them.. but what if the same thing will happen when my parents die?

What is wrong with me?

[Talthybius]

I can't tell the difference between me feeling it and between me rationalizing I should feel it. I might be on the autistic spectrum, somewhere, which means I should feel empahty in a different way, at least.

I can't laugh when there is some program like for example 'American Funniest Home vidoes' with people falling or getting hurt (though probably not seriously, but you can't tell from the video), and that is apparently funny. It angers me.

When on tv I learn there is a trampling in Bangladesh and 200 died, or an earthquake like the one in Italy just this week, I try to imagine the agony of those people, deliberately. Add the feelings I have to the numbers. I definitely feel something. Maybe more than others. But maybe the difference is, I try to feel it, deliberately, while others can't help but feel it, but want to push it away.

I can't console a griefing person. I can't share in their grief. When someone is down or griefing, I don't know what to do. I can't feel what they feel. It makes me feel like a robot.

I am kind of obsessed with ethics. That may be because I subconsiously think I have less empathy, and thus at risk of being less ethical. Not sure. But there is always reason dominating over emotion.

[TimTheEnchanter]

If you have emotional issues or mental health challenges...any extra burden seem overwhelming. I am the same way, so I can relate. We are not good caregivers we just want to cope and survive! You block empathy because with empathy you'd have to do something, sacrifice. My mother died alone because I was an ocean away. I was with her before but I could not move in and take care 24/7 because I have created a situation beforehand so I wound not have to. I have spent a lot of time with her but emotionally it wore me out, she became so needy that I could not even go out. (I remember one time I had a date with a girl and my mother was petrified that I would spend a weekend away!) So, I was a good son and did not go...

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm starting to acknowledge that I don't really "feel" love for my parents..
What I mean is that, I don't feel sorry for them if something goes wrong in their lives, and everytime I do them a favor, even if it is something i don't want to do, or I can't do, I do it more for fear (of what they could do if I disobey them).

I should also mention that during this past year two grandparents of mine have died, and yet I didn't even shed a tear. Granted, I didn't spend that much time with them.. but what if the same thing will happen when my parents die?

What is wrong with me?

[Bill3]

but what if the same thing will happen when my parents die?

When my mother died I did not shed a tear.

She was a narcissist and an alcoholic and the feelings that I have of her now are revulsion and a sense of ongoing violation.

I think it would be worth looking at your lack of feelings with your therapist--not to find out what is wrong with you, but to understand what happened to you.

[MickeyCheeky]

Well, my mother isn't really a bad person, that's the thing... but I guess you're right, I should talk about it with my T (when I find one..)