[lessthansign3]

I think I've fallen in love with my current boyfriend, but I am afraid to say "I love you" first. We've been together for a month as of yesterday, and I'm afraid of moving too fast as that's what happened in my last relationship. My former significant other said "I love you" two weeks in and by the end he decided he didn't really love me. It hurt a lot and I wouldn't want to be in that situation again. Should I wait or should I just go for it?

Thanks for the advice!!

[asylumgardens]

Personally I would not say it that soon, and I wouldn't like it said to me that soon. I would feel like they were going way too fast.

However, that's just a generality. All relationships are different. If it feels right, say it. If you think he might be put off by you saying it, then you might want to hold back. You could maybe judge his reaction to things by bringing up general topics like what do you think of love at first sight, or something. Some couples do meet, fall in love, and have a successful life together after just a week. Some take much, much longer. It's all up to how it feels.

[Direction]

Since you are concerned...you waited the first time two weeks...how about 2 months this time? If it feels right then...otherwise go another 2 months...who knows.

[sabby]

The one thing about relationships is that very often you fall fast and furious when there is a connection. This is the "honeymmoon" stage where everything is new and beautiful and you see nothing wrong with your significant other.

After a couple of months is when you begin to open your eyes and not just your heart and see that person a little more clearly. Some of the little traits that they have that you originally thought were "cute" can maybe turn into traits that annoy the crap out of you....LOL.

One month does not constitute a deep relationship. Granted it can be the beginning of one, but there is so much to experience and cannot be done in one month.

Go with the feelings you are having and enjoy them. There is nothing wrong with that, just don't use it to base your whole emotion of "love" on this one month.

I wish you well!

Hugsss
sabby

[Wants2Fly]

I respectfully submit that the feelings we have after a month are not "love" but infatuation -- the very real high we feel during the discovery process.

I had an interesting discussion last semester with students in an interpersonal communication class. Students represented such other languages as French, Spanish, Portuguse, Greek and Italian. They said that saying "I love you" in American English has so much weight that they have to avoid it. In their languages, there are many more words for love apparently, that include loving a friend, loving a friend one is dating, loving a child, etc., and these alternative words are less scarey to say because the other person will understand the weight that each of these words carries.

It's too bad that our language is so impoverished when it comes to expressing love.

[Rhapsody]

I would wait...... if you say it to soon you could run the guy off if he does not feel the same way yet.