[ALC1211]

After being on my own for 23 years, after a break up, I ended up having to move in with my parents, at 49 years old, it has been a living hell!! My mother was all gung ho, about it, was fine the first week, but now a month into it makes me miserable.

I have a "room" but its not really my room it has all her crap in it, I had my own comforter and bed linens, she wont let me use those, she makes me use the ugly flowered comforter and sheets that are on the bed.... she cleaned some of her clothes out of the closet and made a small spot in the closet for a few of my clothes, the rest are in boxes in their garage, cleaned out a drawer for my socks, underwear etc...and I have a drawer under my bed for my toiletries because I don't have a bathroom, I share two bathrooms with her and my dad, he has one she has the other, but she made it clear when I moved in there was no room for my stuff in the bathroom, she has all her crap in both bathrooms and he has his stuff where he can get it in the other one...I use the shower in her bathroom, because nobody uses it...but everything else in his bathroom I use...

She has no respect or concept for the idea of needing your space, or privacy, I close my bedroom door, she opens it and walks right in...you lock it, she gets mad and wants to know why its locked...and says.. "This door is not to be locked!!" I stay in my room all day, just to stay away from her.. but she will walk in here and stand in my room and talk to me...and talk to me about senseless stuff Politics..fox news stuff I could care less about. which I don't want to hear about...

I don't have a car of my own, My ex and I only had 1, they have an extra vehicle that my dad told me I could use if I needed to go somewhere, but I have to ask to borrow it, and my mom gives me the guilt trip when I do, and starts in on me about saving my mom to buy me a car...So far I've been here a month and I haven't even been able to so somewhere as simple as Walmart or the grocery store alone... She doesn't want me to go alone...She doesn't like to go alone so doesn't figure I need to.

They have been married over 50 years and fight constantly, my mom is very controlling, and wants things her way, when she wants them, how she wants them, There is no other way in her eyes...so you do it that way....and if you don't do it, all hell breaks lose. and if my dad doesn't do something her way, he hears about it, and so does the rest of the town...because she yell and makes it known......and its an everyday thing...I'm 49 and she wants me to eat when she eats, what she eats, go where she goes, and if I don't want to she gets mad!!!

I am on disability so my income is fixed and limited, so Ive checked into low income housing in our area, she has found every reason in the world why I shouldn't get a place, here or there... why I should wait and this and that...Unfortunately you get put on wait lists when you apply for the apartments also...

I know I sound horrible, and this is my mother, but its bad when every time she opens her mouth you cringe, I am just not used to being around all the drama and yelling and everything around here, Ive lived a pretty drama free quiet life all these years now moving back to this, it really works on my last nerve...I'm not a person that yells. I see no point in it...I look forward to bed time, because the is the only time I get time to myself...

Ive tried to talk to her, but she just doesn't see it and wont listen...Thanks for letting me vent....

[mindwrench]

I can relate to some of the things you have said. I am 40 and moved back home 9 years ago. I have only had a room of my own since January when we moved. I have left home many times and stayed living away from home for years at a time. I generally had to sleep on the couch, or a fold up bed at times in the past. My mother is disabled and needs my help with various things each day. I can totally relate to not having any peace until late at night.

[ALC1211]

Originally Posted by mindwrench

I can relate to some of the things you have said. I am 40 and moved back home 9 years ago. I have only had a room of my own since January when we moved. I have left home many times and stayed living away from home for years at a time. I generally had to sleep on the couch, or a fold up bed at times in the past. My mother is disabled and needs my help with various things each day. I can totally relate to not having any peace until late at night.

My mother is also quite nosy also, she makes everything her business, like the joint bank account my ex and I had, she asks me on a daily basis if I have switched my direct deposits from that account to my account, She also asks me on a daily basis if I have heard from my ex... none of her business!!! because all she does is slam and make bad comments and put down my ex down, and this and that, I'm having to deal with the break up without her negativity...I try to keep as much of my personal stuff away from her as possible because she makes it her business.

[Skeezyks]

Hello ALC1211: I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation. I moved away from my parents many years ago & never looked back. You don't sound horrible to me. I can't imagine living under the circumstances you're enduring. Hopefully you will be able to get into some sort of low income housing soon. My best wishes to you...

[ALC1211]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello ALC1211: I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation. I moved away from my parents many years ago & never looked back. You don't sound horrible to me. I can't imagine living under the circumstances you're enduring. Hopefully you will be able to get into some sort of low income housing soon. My best wishes to you...

Thank you, I can honestly say If I don't I am going to completely lose my mind, unfortunately their wait lists are quite long, I have a younger sister that I have tried to get let me come stay with her, and has basically just said, that's they way my parents are, just keep my head low and take them for who they are especially my mother... easier said than done. .but thanks for your well wishes.

[ALC1211]

A little more to this story that makes this living with my parents at this age so difficult, my mother was very mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive, as a child, until I moved out of their home at 23. when I married.... and I hold a very large amount of resentment towards her now as an older adult, so that also makes it very hard living back here now as an adult after all these years, believe me if I didn't have to I wouldn't.