When someone does not respect your feelings

How do you deal with someone that is supposed to care for you. Your own wife not respect your feelings? I mean if you feel a certain way about something no one has the right to tell you, you are not allowed to feel that way and if you do you are weird. Gosh I am so heart broken I can't deal with this relationship no matter how badly I want it, she just has no respect for my feelings. Telling me I am not allowed to feel so. That is who I am and if there is a problem you comfort me or talk to me don't tell me I can't feel that way. You supposed to be my wife. I can't deal I am going to break completely and I am already on the edge. I know that no matter how badly I do want the relationship it just won't work if she does not respect me ory feelings.

I'm sorry you're hurting.

I don't think people have to agree with how we feel on certain things. They can state that they have an indifference without belittling us.

It really depends on what the feeling is in relation to the situation though. There are so many different emotions and we aren't going to react the same way to scenarios.

For instance, if I constantly feel paranoid and that bad things are going to happen, I'd like my significant other to point out that perhaps I'm not thinking quite clearly.

But there are other circumstances where no one can really chip in on how we can / should be feeling, like how we grieve and how long it should take.

No one should tell you what you should be feeling. I've gone through a divorce this year because my spouse was an alcoholic and wouldn't admit it.
He continued to belittle my feelings and finally I couldn't be in a relationship with him.
Be clear about your feelings and your right to have them.

Sounds like a total breakdown in how you interact. Your feelings are yours. What brought about this change in her being a supportive companion?

Hi Crazy Hitch.

There is just something I didnt like thatbshe does and then I told her its fine if she does it. Obviously I dont like it and it will take time for me to accept and get used to it. So when I was feeling sad she told me I'm the only person tjat would feel so and it's so weird. And I told her listen this is how I feel it's who I am. You don't get to tell me how I should feel at least I would expect you as a wife to be understanding and supportive because I'm feeling a bit off and all you do is judge me and tell me how I must feel. I totally blew it and lost my mind. This person, my wifr, does not even care for me or my feelings what am I suppose to think or feel. And these days she is just so insensitive towards me, the way she speaks to me and her tone shows hardness and irritability.

Hi healingme4me.

She changed ever since we got married and became friends with her only ex thatbshe only ever cared about, so she tells me. She told me this friend made her realise who she is. To me that is nonsense. Because even when we were friends she wasn't this person. I told her this friend projected on to her and she has become her because they spend so much time together. My wife has started to neglect me and not even care whether she spends time with me. She has become just like this friend and the friend is single. So now projecting thatbsame persona on my wife she acting like she not married. Like I'm just some status tonher and not a person. I told her I hate who she has become and that I am not married to the same person. Thay she took me for a ride leadig me to believe she is someone and then as soon getting married she becomes a total different person. I just can't comprehend how someone can just not care and change just like that. I am thinkin of endig it as I have told her but now I lay thinking perhaps I should see someone as well my wife. Because if I can't get through to her maybe someone else will.

Hi open_soul

You said:

"but now I lay thinking perhaps I should see someone as well my wife"

I'd strongly recommend you break all ties with your wife before pursuing a relationship elsewhere. Otherwise you would just land up getting yourself more hurt.

Sorry for thr misunderstanding Crazy Hitch I meant to say see someone as in a psychologist.

Thanks for clarifying

Sorry to hear that, I know how that feels. My situation was similar. When we were friends she showed me affection, gave me gifts, did things for me and spent time with me. We had a falling out and then later on she went to jail. I began writing her and led me to believe in a relationship between us when she was released. When she got out, she avoided me, would ignore me, barely communicate with me, never came to see me alone, always brought someone with her, she would ask things of me which I would do without hesitation, she had a sense of entitlement, when I knew this was all wrong she told me she needed time but her actions just showed he lacked any respect for me. She was completely indifferent to how I felt and she could not tell me anything, what was wrong or what happened or why she behave in such manner.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I know how you feel when you mentioned "how someone can just not care and change just like that" my recent ex became like that, he just stopped caring (so he says)... It hurts, I can only imagine how you feel. I feel like I would only be so lucky to have someone who wants to get married to me (I feel hopeless). I recommend not cheating, in the end thats what it sounded like. Maybe start seeing a relationship counselor with her? Say you have some issues and you feel that would help you. Keep me posted.

Thanks for the ideas. But honestly I don't think there is anything I cam do anymore. She wants a divorce and convincing her to not do so haa failed me. She wants to move out as soon as possible. Said she wasn't ready to get married. So now I have that to deal with. It is the worst possible thing. Not sure if I will make it but I am hanging in there. Quite stressed and depressed. Yet she keeps telling me I should smile. How can I? I wish I had answers or knew what to do.

Hi lonelylife24 I told her maybe we should see someone or maybe me as a start and she said no she does not want to continue this relationship she has had enough. We have had quite the number of arguments in the past and now she gives up because she wants to just be independent and do her own thing. Asked me if I would be friends because she still wants me in her life. I always used to tell her I would not want to be friends because how can I knowing that I can't ever kiss her or hold her anything. And not to mention having to see her and know she might be with someone else would drive me to insanity.