Biggest, most intense crush of my life happened with

Just to show the world how stupid 30+ yo people can be, anyway I met this girl and had a huge crush on her, there was a lot of self deceit and more, here is what she proved to be, prepare to lol.

- ex prostitute, worked for years as escort and feels no shame about it.
- paranoid personality disorder with hallucinations, possibly paranoid schizophrenia
- maintains many fwb's/lovers, 5-7 regulars plus a few occasional one's
- extremely moody as a result of her psychological issues
- nearly zero empathy towards the world
- extreme fear of commitment/binding
- biggest ego ever
- self absorbed like nobody else.
- extreme lies/manipulations, yet pretends to feel insulted if this is pointed out.

And I, a smart 39yo fell for that like an idiot.

People be careful with who you meet, the landmines are out there.

Over and out

There actually seems to be a lot of these types out there I noticed.

It definitely happens and I think for awhile you actually say to yourself it's okay by ignoring the tremendous amounts of red flags. It's not really stupidity though. Wouldn't call yourself that. I mean you didn't know who this person was starting off. I think stupidity would be to continue for a long time trying to make it worthwhile with someone who had those credentials.

Always important to take things slow with people. Rushing just causes trouble. Like the turtle, slow and steady wins the race.

It's really sad that someone with that many burdens to bare, ended up a victim of the sex trade. She probably needed help long ago and never got any.

I know what it's like to feel a certain attraction to other people who suffer from similar issues as I do, even if they haven't stated it you can kind of pick up on things you experience yourself. There is a certain comfort, in knowing someone won't judge you or abandon you because they discover your issues, if they are having issues as well. I think we sometimes unknowingly or purposely seek out those like us, or that we perceive to be like us.

I hope she finds the support she needs to have a descent life.

I for one, certainly didn't 'lol' at the complex issues she seems to face, as you suggested the reader might.

I don't judge. I've never walked in her shoes.

But I truly hope that she gets the help that she deserves.