[ionable]

I am 21, never had a boyfriend, but I never go to bars or clubs. Guys never approach me, ask me out, and they almost never hit on me when I go to coffee shops, when I do grocery shopping, or to the gym. I am in shape (I am 5'6 and weigh 125 pounds) and I try to wear makeup sometimes just to look good. No men chase me or pursue me and I feel like I will stay single for the rest of my life. Yes, I am shy but I would never be opposed to a guy approaching me or starting a conversation. I don't know what to do?

[healingme4me]

Going to bars and clubs might attract the kind that give you the attention, but for the wrong reasons.

I don't know about the notion of as I say it, being whisked away, swept off the feet, as being remotely close to anything that actually happens to people. Besides that idea would be premised from lust filled emotions.

Sometimes it's better to go about life and if a friendship develops then turns to more then great. Although, I can understand and respect the desire to be viewed and treated as desirable.

[Talthybius]

How often do you hit on males?

Possible answers include:
-They hit on you but you don't notice.
-They hit on you, but you give the impression you are not interested.
-Something in your personality or your looks make them rather hit on someone else.

It's a risk/reward choice for them. If you seem too risky or seem not enough of a reward, they subconsciously will not decide to hit on you.

Also, you say you don't go out to bars and clubs. If you would, you would have more interactions with males. Now apparently some here seem to think that would attract the wrong type. But if you don't replace your social interactions with males in bars and clubs with someething else, you just have less social interactions. Less chances of someone liking you enough to take a risk, or you liking someone else to take a risk.

I feel that as a female, you have to give the male a reason to approach you. And maybe if you are super-attractive, there will be males that will approach yo based on just that. But when you are in the bottom 80% looks-wise, it may be you just don't radiate out enough warmth of perosnality or approachablility. I don't know you. But I know females that are attractive, but seem too cold or not femine enough. Maybe I just don't know them well enough. Maybe they don't open up to strangers. Maybe they are shy. Maybe their are actually cold.
I know females that are less attractive, but they are nice and easy to talk to.
Then there are females that have nice personalties, are attractive, but I still feel something is off for me that makes it impossible for me to feel attraction.

Point being, just being female isn't enough. Especially not if you expect the male to do all the work. Imagine you are a male, just as shy, bottom 80% attractiveness, and you don't take any initiative romantically. What do you think would be your fate then?