[single_cat91]

Hello all,

I recently turned 25 and I don't have a job or girlfriend. I was fired earlier this year and I've failed at every 'relationship' I've been in. I'm not sure if it is due to Asperger's, racial-profiling, etc. I just finished school, and I'm looking for work like crazy. I've tried all dating apps including: OkCupid, POF, Badoo, etc.

They were mostly ineffective. I only 'met' a handful of girls, most of them were crazy and/or underage (lying about their age on app). I've tried bars, singles groups, and I even 'dated' a girl at work for a few months. I can't seem to maintain a relationship and I'm not sure why this is.

Thanks,

Kb

[Talthybius]

You are doing better than me. Not that it would comfort you, but I am 33, a student, never kissed or touched a woman since I was age 11 or so.

There are many complex reasons, and possible Asperger's may play a role (wasn't diagnosed as a child, opted to not get a second diagnosis attempt at age 33).

One day it might happen that I find a woman that I am interested in and that is interested in me. But then, to me, the hard part begins. Most people fail at relationships after the initial challenge. And I feel one needs several failures with perfectly fine partners to learn how to be in a healthy rich mature relationship.

I myself, never looked for a girlfriend, though I don't want to end up single.

You don't state the nature of your problem at all. You said you tried all dating options you have. So it is really that you can get dates, can get initial romantic relationships, but then you cannot maintain them?

I assume they decided at some point that they are no longer interested, while they were interested initially. But you don't tell anything about what happened. If you know what happened and you can't figure it out, how can someone else who doesn't even know what happened, based on your 5 lines of text, tell you what happened?

As for not having a job, if you want a woman who is financially independent and who is looking for an equal relationship, you need to have a job yourself. Harsh truth is that if you are jobless, you fish from a different pool. It doesn't surprise me that underage and 'crazy' woman have less problems with you being jobless.

[Skeezyks]

Hello single_cat91: I don't know. I'm just a worn out old geezer. But it seems to me that in order to find friends, or romantic partners, the first thing is to get with people you have something in common with.

I always imagine that finding some kind of social activities, or perhaps volunteer work, of some sort in an area that is of interest to you would be one way at least to approach this. It could be most anything that you find to be of genuine interest to you... something you'd enjoy doing even if you don't manage to develop any relationships as a result of doing it.

Of course, not everyone you meet is going to become even a friend, let also a romantic interest. But among the "universe" of people with whom you share one or more common interests is, it seems to me, where you're most likely to find friends & lovers. The chances of striking up a romantic relationship with someone you have nothing in common with, it seems to me, is vanishingly small. At least this is my thinking on the subject... for what it's worth.