[TheBoredOne]

I have 2 friends(siblings, brother and sister) I met them in my neighborhood around October 2013. I sometimes hang out with them at their house. I have seen their dad physically abuse them before. I've tried reporting it for them before as they're way too afraid to, of fear their dad is going to make it look like he is the "victim, hurt one"(the one time, I was over and saw it, their dad started beating them in the face with a belt, it happened all over a disagreement) and that they caused it. They told me this has been going on since they both were around 9 years old. They're 17 and 18, but they can't leave. Their parents have never allowed them to learn to drive or get a permit. They have no money because of that and I feel bad because I can't give any of my money away. Our neighborhood is off of a highway, there are no walk areas or side of the road, just street and cars everywhere. I don't know what advice to give them. They've been doing something called online school for 10 years, they said me and another neighbor friend are really the only outside people of their family they know. I just don't think I can help them. I'm all out of advice, I don't even know how they would have somewhere to go, they have bad credit, from someone using their names and signing up for credit cards(they have never had one) and I have no idea how people aged 16-23 afford their own house. What advice should I give them?

[hvert]

Who did you try reporting it to so far? Are you still in school? Someone there might have some good ideas about exactly who to contact in your area.

Are there any homeless shelters in your area? Teen shelters?

Inviting them over to your house, introducing them to other friends, getting them involved in some kind of activities - those things will help too. It will help them see that other people are living without that kind of abuse or craziness.

[Bill3]

It sounds like they are able to speak with you and feel safe in doing so. If so, this is a very important gift to them. Of more value than specific advice is a person who listens nonjudgmentally and shows understanding and support for them and for what they say.

No matter how badly the father may abuse them, you will be wise to not criticize him to them.He is still their father and part of them will take an attack on him as an attack on them.

Instead, focus on and validate their feelings. So with regard to the father hitting them with a belt, in my opinion avoid saying things like "He is abusive". Instead, say things like "That must have been terrifying". "You must have felt so alone" , "the pain sounds unbearable", etc. Focus on and validate their feelings.