Why do I feel so worthless?

I can't shake this feeling. Wherever I go and whoever I interact with (apart from a very small number of people) I always feels so insignificant. I'm starting to realise this actually is to do with me and possibly how I am? It can't just be everyone against me surely?

1. Work. Work is work. Come in do my job leave etc. Ive been with my company for just over a year and still feel as though no one cares if I'm here or not. Hardly get acknowledged by people and get blunt arsy emails for my boss.

2. Ex husband. Lies lies lies. To be honest i don't expect anything less but he recently lied about having to go to a memorial service for someone who recently passed away (I didn't know him) so had to drop his daughter back early to attend. I later found out there was no service, he just wanted to go out and get drunk.

3. Family. My parents are getting a new bathroom fitted. I asked my dad how the plans were going etc and he didn't say much. Then when sister in law asks he gets excite and shows her brochures and talks got ages about baths. I own my home so it's not like I dont know about property. I recently had a new shower unit fitted. I realised that no one except sister in law actually really spoke to me directly. No one asked how I was (at the very end of finalising my divorce and need to look for somewhere to live) it's almost as if my life and problems don't exist.

4. Ex boyfriend (the abusive one) still can't get him out of my head. He send me a message this morning from someone elses phone as ove blocked him saying he misses me so much etc. I replied saying I'm in a really bad place right now I'm having a really tough time with life. This message is entirely true. It's what's happening right now. As he text me I was hoping he would see I'm reaching out and send me back some comforting words. His reply 'ok, take care x'

Why do I not matter to anyone? Even my daughter said last night she doesn't love me as I didn't read 3 chapters of her book as it was late and she needed to go to sleep for school.

I cry myself to sleep every night. No one seems to notice I'm literally imploding. I feel I'm so close to the edge right now and I don't even know what the edge is.

I need someone who I care about to just say it's going to be ok and they it's ok to feel like this.

I understand you all too well.

I feel as if I am screaming at the top of my lungs and nobody can hear me. I cry myself to sleep, too.

I am sorry I'm no use to anyone here lately.

One thing I notice in your post, and I speak merely from my observance and experience. I won't say it's exclusive to females but I can say that it's only females in my experience that do this so far.

What I see happening here and why you may feel "worthless" currently is that you may be piling up "proofs" into one big mound of "you're worthless" thinking. In other words what I see happening is your becoming overwhelmed with these things and mashing them together into one big ball that just rolls over your emotions making you take it all at once.

I have noticed this with many of the women I've been with that when they feel overwhelming feelings of negativity that typically if asked they will give you a list of things that they are currently thinking about. Usually unrelated items. Typically taken one by one mean very little or sometimes nothing related to the overwhelming emotion.

I can't say for sure but can you ask yourself, is this what you might be doing?

More specifically

some places are just like this. Where I work people don't get involved unless you initiate with them and since I'm the type to keep to myself, no one really gives me the time of day. Do they care? I dunno, probably not but if I wanted them to I'd have to make myself available and initiate friendships with them. I just don't. I doubt it has anything to do with whether they care if you're there or not.

I'm not sure how this can make you feel worthless. Seems to me that your husband being deceitful says more about his moral code or lack thereof than anything related to you. The way you state it, lying is what he does. That further makes it less about you than just the way he is. I doubt that in any way his marrying you turned him into a liar so your worth here has nothing to do with it, he's just a lying jerk.

This one out of all of them seems to be something related to what you're feeling, and I can understand that. Perhaps remodeling is a subject that your dad knows your Sister-in-law is passionate about so he gets excited to share that particular thing with her? Do you connect with your father on this type of thing or other areas? It probably says something about your dad's expectation that you won't be interested more than it does about him not caring or thinking you're valuable tho.

Simply put, he's an ex and not only that, an abusive one. Quite honestly it's playing with fire when you keep up with an ex. I am not sure why his opinions or feelings toward you would be important to you but they shouldn't be. Not only did you break up and get married but clearly he didn't treat you well when you were together so that doubles up the reason for him not being a significant gauge for your self worth.

I'll tell you the truth, his response is entirely stating what type of guy he is. Just in the little you've said, I would guess he is a self-centered jerk, if not narcissistic. He wanted a response out of you that wrapped you around his finger, felt sorry for him, for missing you or wanted him back. it was entirely about manipulating you and a way for him to get attention, nothing in it was about or for you so, when he saw that you couldn't or wouldn't respond in kind, he decided to give up and let go.

It does sound like you have a lot of good things going for you! I just gotta wonder if you don't see how they're good.

The above poster is right: Some workplaces function like that. It can be a GREAT thing if you think about it, . I searched high and low for a place like that because I was getting exhausted and beaten at office politics at my previous job. I love how most people come otgether for work related things only and then go live their separate lives.

Stay positive, x0x0x

I am sorry you are struggling. I remember suggesting therapy. Please talk to your doctor. It might help. As about job I don't know if you have a trade/career or it's just a job. If it's just s job, I'd really try to obtain training/education so you have life long career path. You'll feel rewarded perhaps making difference in people's lives one way or the other. Some careers could keep you so busy and preoccupied that you have no time to think of office politics or socializing with colleagues.

Ex husband is ex for a reason. You cannot change him. Don't respond to your exBF. Don't reach out to exes. And do see a therapist. Everything will be ok. We all get tough moments in our lives. Hugs

It is okay for you to feel like this. You really sound like you could use some more support than you are receiving right now. Have you reached out to your family and friends and let them know how you feel and that you need them right now? Sometimes we expect people to know or catch on but they are too caught up in their own lives to even notice unfortunately. (((Hugs)))