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#1
Dec 02, 2016, 10:40 PM
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I wish I could figure out how to make my husband happy. He is very short tempered with me, unaffectionate and usually seems agitated when I'm around. I can't figure out why. I do my best to be a good wife and mom, yet he just doesn't seem to like me. When I tell him how he makes me feel all he says is I shouldn't feel that way and it's my own insecurities. I'm not crazy, I know how he makes me feel, I can't communicate with him. Just want my husband happy.
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 Rostou
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#2
Dec 03, 2016, 08:04 AM
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It's not your responsibility to make others happy. If he doesn't like you then it's no matter what you do. Why are you staying with him?
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 Bill3
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#3
Dec 03, 2016, 08:14 AM
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I had an ex like that. I used to say he had his happiness plug unplugged.
I'd fill him with love and joy and later he'd be complaining and miserable. Does your husband do anything to make you happy?
__________________
 Bipolar 1Day Vraylar 3 mg. Wellbutrin 150 Night meds Temazepam 30 mg or lorazepam Hasn't helped yet. From sunny California! |
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#4
Dec 03, 2016, 08:36 AM
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No you're not crazy and imagining his cold behavior.
Do you think if you confronted him with finding out why he is acting cold toward you, it will be helpful in getting him to recognize it and change?
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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#5
Dec 03, 2016, 10:08 AM
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| Hopelessmom
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#6
Dec 03, 2016, 05:51 PM
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He is bloody lucky and doesn't know it; do the same to him and
see how he likes it. |
| Hopelessmom
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#7
Dec 03, 2016, 06:35 PM
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#8
Dec 03, 2016, 06:37 PM
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#9
Dec 03, 2016, 06:42 PM
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#10
Dec 03, 2016, 07:40 PM
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hopeless mom....you are being emotionally abused by him. it breaks my heart to hear you talk about yourself the way you do. there is so much more to things than you being happy to see him happy. it is not your responsibility to Make him anything, his feelings are his.
if you are truly doing all that a person can to be a good person and he finds you to be at fault for everything that is possibly wrong in your marriage/family, then this is not about you, what you do or do not do. this is about him, being selfish and abusive towards you. you in no way deserve to be in a relationship/marriage where your SO is cold, indifferent, insulting and abusive towards you. a person who loves someone else would NEVER want them to feel so bad they want to die!! You deserve better too. you deserve better from someone who 'loves' you than how you are being treated by your husband. I wish you the best. You'll be in my thoughts 
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| John25
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#11
Dec 03, 2016, 08:36 PM
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#12
Dec 03, 2016, 08:38 PM
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Frankly you are being very much abused yet you refer to him as "great man". Great men don't mistreat women. Lately there have been sever threads by abused women who totally lost their worth and put their abusers on a pedestal. Its heart breaking. I also don't understand what you mean by asking "where would you go?". This is not 1950s and there are plenty of places where divorced women could go.
You deserve better than spending life making sure your abuser is happy. |
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#13
Dec 03, 2016, 08:50 PM
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The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life; hope you will read it. His behavior has nothing to do with who you are and everything to do with his own insecurities and issues. We can't make others happy; that is an "inside" job; if someone isnt happy, they have to figure out why and fix themselves.
This is sad. your whole life revolves around him....you are only happy when HE is. You could be model thin, and look like a movie star, he would still treat you abusively, because he doesn't like HIMSELF. In other words, it doesn't matter what you do or say, or if you changed everything about yourself he says is "wrong." You should know that everytime we are under stress, the body releases cortisol; cortisol damages our immune system. I am a moderator of an abused survivors' group and have yet to meet an abused woman who doesn't have lots of physical problems. I don't know how old your children are, but they pick up very easily on tension in a house and hearing abusive words. Therapy for yourself could help. |
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#14
Dec 03, 2016, 11:54 PM
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And it seems like what he's saying to you when you try to discuss how you are reacting to this is just making things worse for you. I wonder what is going on for or in him to make him act like this.
__________________
Making assumptions creates asses |
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#15
Dec 03, 2016, 11:59 PM
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I am wondering why it is so important for you to have him happy.
__________________
Making assumptions creates asses |
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#16
Dec 04, 2016, 12:06 AM
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And it is not healthy to have "everything" about one's kids & you said this is so for both of you. I'm thinking he also may need to do some things to make him happy. You both can start being yourselves, and happy, more. It is a process to lose that and a process to get it back. There IS time for each of you if you work at it. Might take some creative thinking. Maybe you could discuss this with him (in a positive, listening & problem solving way)?
__________________
Making assumptions creates asses |
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