[brainy]

Well, I finally got it.
Two weeks ago, (more or less), we had an argument. Now he had told me that the next time I "go to the moon" (his way of describing my bipolar mania), he would no longer speak to me. "Fine" I told him.
The day argued, over the phone, he said I did something (which was true), but because of the way he said it, it made me feel like he was pushing my back up against the wall. So I said "Yeah I did!" Then he said "I'm not speaking to you again."
"You're not speaking to me again? Fine! Goodbye." And I hung up.
Next thing I know he called me twice that same day, the next day he called, and apologized.
A few days later I called him, we talked and all was well. Or so I thought.

Weeks passed and he began bringing up other women, not returning calls, and texts. I tried to be patient. But couldn't any more. So last night I ended everything for good. And unbelievably he called me five (5) times. I have no idea what he wanted because I didn't answer.

I'm done!

Oh! Actually I shouldn't have been involved with him. Why? Because of his history.

1. He's been divorced twice.
2.Tried to get with "a couple of [women] and "nothing happened."
3. "I fell in love with a woman and she said she didnt feel the same way."
4. Me.

Sooo, six (6) women, including myself, that he couldn't keep.

[divine1966]

Good for you. I remember your posts. He was bad news from the beginning. I think he probably had someone on the side the whole time as he was always unavialable. You dodged the bullet here as he is an *** hole.

[brainy]

Thank you divine1966. Thank you!
I guess some of us take a long time to get it eh? Lol.
I tried with him, I really did.
And though this may sound morbid, I want him to feel the same pain. A girlfriend told me tonight "don't worry, he is." Good!
And I did warn him that "I'm not the woman you can play with, I'm no joke!!!!
Well evidently he didn't believe me. Oh well.

This was the entire text I sent to him last night:

"I'm done with you. You're full of it. Happy now? Im sure u are. I tried with u but you're not worth my time nor energy. And nooo, this is NOT going to the moon. You most likely than not was hoping and so played for this, so you got it. GOODBYE!"

Then I got my five phone calls, without any responses from me. Heehee.

[seesaw]

Good for you, brainy!

[Crazy Hitch]

I think you made a really good decision.

[brainy]

Thank you guys!

[s4ndm4n2006]

Originally Posted by brainy

Well, I finally got it.
Two weeks ago, (more or less), we had an argument. Now he had told me that the next time I "go to the moon" (his way of describing my bipolar mania), he would no longer speak to me.

Without even going into the rest of this post of yours I say its a good thing to get rid of this arrogant, judgmental jerk. To hold someone to a standard by which they cannot because of an issue that has nothing to do with choice, is put simply, ridiculously.

It seems his expectations aren't just high, but stupid. You didn't make yourself bipolar, nor do you make a choice everyday to be either manic or depressed or anything in between.

That statement alone should have made you leave.

Sooo, six (6) women, including myself, that he couldn't keep.

the numbers of women he has been with or failed to stay with have nothing to do with you or what happened in the relationship. All of our histories whether related to relationships or otherwise are less than perfect so expecting that he will fail forever with women based on what he went through in the past is silly

just focus on the fact that he is not right for you and at this point and time is clearly too immature to be in a relationship.

[brainy]

It's amazing that you say he's "too immature to be in a relationship." I say that because on another site a counselor said the same thing in the words of "he's not ready."

Yet, though I know and realize that age is just a number, I was of the mind that at least at 76 years old, you would think that he would be. Well, clearly I was wrong.

Yet still I won't deny that I still love him and definitely won't forget him. I know...in time.

[s4ndm4n2006]

maturity is not something that is a given at any age. unfortunately.

[brainy]

True true.

But I still have to forgive him, yet I'm finding it sooo hard. Maybe because this just happened.

This isn't the first time I told him goodbye. The first time,wasn't even a full month ago (the argument). Yet he apologized. Then BOOM...again. And I felt I couldn't take it any more.

[MickeyCheeky]

You did the right thing Now it's time to move on..

[brainy]

You're right. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted so much to hang in there with him, but he began putting a certain woman in my face, such as telling me about her. For instance, he told me one time that "she said she was developing feelings for me." Now what was supposed to do about that? Though my girlfriend strongly felt, in view of the circumstances around that story, that this woman wasn't real, how would I know? Even my therapist said he shouldnt even be telling me that.Then when he began disappearing, blowing hot and cold, at times acting like he didn't want to speak with me, and when he did it was strained, how was I supposed to feel? One thing I did feel was uncomfortable, insecure about us, insecure about him.
Yes I'll admit my bipolar might have had a lot to do with my insecure feelings. Yet I'm smart enough to know that it wasn't all my illness either.
But I refuse to put EVERYTHING on him. I'm sure I could have, therefore should have, explained all of this to him in how I was feeling. But I felt I couldn't. We're long distance. So I would go online and get ideas how we could work this out, and found a couple of great ideas. Yet, maybe it was my own insecurities but I didn't feel I could bring those ideas to his attention, feeling that he would rebuff them as in not wanting even want to hear about them, nevermind actually want to discuss them. So I didn't. I wanted to see him (he's in Virginia where I met him, I'm in NYC) so I'm in thought of dates and times to go back down. Next thing I know I'm given one excuse after another for me not to go down. No. I couldn't take it anymore.
Yesterday I called a domestic violence hot line because I was wondering if I was being emotionally abused. The snswer, according to a counselor was yes I was. Control is a form if abuse I was told. She even wondered why he called me 5 times after I told him I'm done (of course there was no answer for that one. "Five times!!!!??" she said).
I don't know. I still love him. That's going nowhere. I feel sad and hurt for me. I feel sad and hurt for him. I really wish we could have made it because really, after all is said and done, he's really not a bad guy.

[divine1966]

I don't think it's your insecurities. From what you described the guy was unavailable. And to all honesty he never appeared too interested, doesn't matter why. I don't know if you are abused or not but you don't have to put up with this. Just heal and move on. You can do better