[Angel_Davis]

Hi,
I have issues with my mom and sister. They have hurt me in the past and I separated myself about three different times but always let them back in.
I don't understand my behavior about letting peope back in..does it mean I don't matter to myself or does it mean I get over things or ddoes it mean I feel ike people deserve another chance?
My mom talks down to me, and I believe my sister thinks shes better than me and I believe my mom caters to this and they both want me to take the role of the one who isn't good enough but I don't want to take that role obviously..
I am 38 and have been trying to get self esteem my entire life.
I feel like keeping them in my life and the role they give me is hurting me..i have tred putting boundaries but they contact me constanty... I am in a troubling situation where I may not have a place to live soon but they aren't the people I want to help me because its an emotional disaster for me....

also my firend keeps asking if I talk to them because I told her in confidence hoping she would understand that I don't speak to them anymore..and she told me to talk to them and she hopes I do???why???wtf is it to her? I told her there are issues..why do people think they know what is best for me? why are people so controlling....
I haven't responsed to my friend because I think its none of her business if I tlak to my family or not sinc she deosn understand...shouldn't have told her that's what you get for trusting a friend? betrayal? why do I HAVE to speak to my family if they hurt me..is it a requirement for life??
I am confused and depressed...

[Angel_Davis]

My mom also just texted about not being perfect. Does this mean anyone can do anything they want to me, and they say "well I'm not perfect" come on I'm so tired of this...if she isn't going to chang why should I keep forgiving her...I don't need this

The key is setting boundaries.

You let them in with no change and of course the same pattern is going to repeat over and over again.

I suggest learning how to set boundaries with these people.

[Trail821]

You don't have to talk to family members who have hurt you. I understand that you forgave them over and over because you are a forgiving and loving person. But then they come back to hurt you again? I have to say I don't know when enough is enough myself. Maybe its different for everybody but some of us allow ourselves to be abused far too long.