[atanyrate]

I am a 51 year old Daughter of a 69 year old mother. My whole life my mother was what I would call a hypochondriac. She would also cry a lot to guilt my sister or I into doing things she wanted, or to get what she wanted. Needless to say over the years I became hardened to her behavior. I avoided her as much as possible and could only handle being around her in small doses. Recently I had to move in with her because she needs help with daily living. Now that she is older and some of her health complaints are valid I find I am being callous towards her when she talks about her aches and pains. I don't say anything bad I just don't say anything at all. I get angry when she cries instead of caring because I feel she wants the kind of attention that she has always wanted from me..to feel sorry for her. It's just not in me to give. She always directs and redirects every single conversation back to her health issues. Frankly it's downright annoying. I feel like she is unknowingly being manipulative. If I say anything she doesn't want to hear she starts crying or acts all depressed. I don't want to be mean but I feel if I am not able to find a healthy way to deal with her on a daily basis I might snap and end up saying something I regret.

[Skeezyks]

Hello atanyrate: This appears to be your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit. By the way, I'm 68... almost your mom's age.

I see you're in Canada. So I don't know what types of in-home services are available where you live. But if there are some you can access, the most straight-forward solution here may be to avail your mother (& yourself) of some in-home services so you're not stuck dealing with all of this 24/7. Your mother's not likely to change. And it's probably going to be tough to put up with her behavior day-after-day for who knows how long. I wish you well...

[Erebos]

I can utterly empathise with you here. My grandmother was exactly the same with her children (my mother), and grand children. She would fake heart attack s and fainting spells, migraines and all that. Until none of us could stand it anymore.
My mother nursed her in the final months and I know she felt very much as you do. She often used to have to walk out into the garden an tell at the sky.
As for me, I couldn't go back and see her because i just knew that I would have said something I couldn't take back.
Years later I still feel I made the right choice. Good luck and I wish you all the best . Look for respite to give u some reprieve.