Hey people,

I'm working on improving my communications with women, and one way of doing it is just talking to them openly like a human being.
I called someone to wish her a happy birthday in a few days delay. I was invited to a meeting for her birthday and I couldn't come, so I thought it would be a great thing to call her and tell her what I wish for her.

The thing is, I get anxious inside after conversations with women. I feel that because of my openness and thoughtfulness of them, they can take my words for something else beyond friends.
While I prefer not to let such thoughts bother me, sometimes when I say some open feelings about a woman, I feel she's either surprised, "stunned", etc.
I don't like making women uncomfortable as it's the last thing I want to do.
I just personally love having more human relationships with a woman. I have a feeling that the "friends" boundary is a "let's talk only when very optional" kind of boundary. It's not that I talk to whichever woman I know everyday, meet her everyday, etc. I see no issue in being open and pleasant with a woman at times.
While I am a little anxious of women, I have a feeling I'm this way because deep inside I feel I have great love for women.

TL;DR It's a complicated topic. The point is, I'm confused about boundaries, and it makes me feel limited in communicating with women.
If you have something to say, I'd love to hear. Just no negative criticism, because it's a topic which struggles me allot. All I want to do is love.

When I was single and on my own, I had two close male friends (platonic only) whom I did alot with on a regular basis. One I met in the cafeteria at college (his dorm was next to mine) and the other was in ROTC with me and we also were stationed at the same base. My friend from ROTC attended my wedding and I was so glad he came.
At work, I assumed friendship unless a guy asked me out on weekend dates. If someone from work called to wish me Happy Birthday, I would take that as simple friendship.
If I didn't want to be more than friends, I would insist on paying my own way for everything. Also, if the guy didn't offer to pay, I assumed they just wanted to be friends. Maybe this was a crazy assumption but it mostly seemed to work out.
Once I got married, nothing really changed for me as far as friendships at work go but I no longer have much to do with males unless they are parents of my children's friends, my children's friends or husband's of my girlfriends. I just know my husband wouldn't want me to, so I don't.
I had noticed no one had replied to your question and I hope something here might be helpful?? (Maybe someone younger can correct me if things are different now since I am older? )

[Andraste]

I really like the respectful approach you take, and how love is your priority. I think this is the approach most human beings should have towards one another regardless of gender, sex, orientation, etc.

Gender role expectations make this more complex, particularly because of the toxic version of masculinity that is often taught in our current societies (by media, by religion, by tradition, by globalization, etc.). Among other things, it teaches that a "true" masculine man should be mainly a rational being, and in order to achieve this he must detach from irrationality.

What is considered to be irrational? Emotions. So, men and boys (and other masculine beings) are often encouraged (and expected) to detach from their emotions, with exceptional circumstances in which they are allowed to be more—as you well-put it—Human. One of these situations in when there is a great loss or a very noble moment ('manly tears' allowed). Another one is when they are in a romantic pursuit (of a female).

At the end this chain of thought creates certain myths, such as: "a friendship between man and woman can't exist by itself, it always evolves into something else." Which it's not true, but you keep seeing it over and over in the media. All this, along with other reasons, is why so often women are defensive or careful of a man who is friendly towards them; women are often warned "he probably wants something from/with you, men aren't friendly just because." Which creates another myth, "if he cares about you, he must be in love with you." This is why, when there are hetero-friends that are always together, (practically) everyone just assumes that "there's something there" (implying romance). Because of this, women sometimes don't want to be seen too much with a male friend they aren't interested in romantically, unless it is in a group setting, they don't want other people or the male friend "to get the wrong idea."

To get around all this mess, in my humble opinion, you require patience, respect, and honest communication with your female friends.

Patience because the bond of trust between two friends can't (usually) be forged so fast, I think most people won't get into a deeper connection so easily, it requires time, coexistence, chemistry, compatibility, etc. Each human being is a different world, we cannot just make a formula that will work for all (though, there are some psychological seductive tweaks that can be learned consciously to persuade people, but let us not fall into manipulation).

Respect because everyone has different boundaries (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, religious, cultural, etc.), as well as diverse personal needs, personalities, not to mention traumas in some cases, you never know...

Honest communication to convey that your intentions are genuinely friendly and avoid sending mixed signals. Of course, also to forge trust, better understanding and, in general, a healthier relationship between your friends and you.

These are some sociological observations I've gotten from personal experience (and some from books). Hope you find them useful.