Online oneitis is damaging my mental health

Here is the situation, its beginning to become life threatening after 9 months. I'm very depressed and don't know what to do.

About me= I'm 30+, a "weirdo", a loner, I don't easily connect to people, but when I do, its quite serious. The society sees me as a weirdo and I see most members of the society also as "weird". Basically I have little interest in most people due to different reasons such as finding them boring and not challenging.

Late April 2016 I met a girl online and the chemistry was instantaneous and the strongest I have ever encountered. The girl appeared to be highly intelligent (likes chess, works as a programmer, IQ is above 165). Her intelligence and her very fragile, feminine nature quickly made its way into my psyche.

The girl quickly offered to meet "for sex" (she is a nympho) but I was ill and couldn't meet her, bad luck I guess. A month later we became so addicted to each other that the girl began to show signs of being scared citing issues such as paranoia, basically she put me in the friendzone.

We have talked for 9 months now and the chemistry is somewhat weaker but its still very addictive to talk to her, basically my day begins and ends with her. I have tried to run from this very unhealthy online addiction a dozen or so times but I keep coming back to her.

Why do I come back? nobody talks or texts like her, her language is so complicated and unique that she is irresistible. Or appears to be so.

The girl has control over our online relation and does what she wants and says what she wants, she is not ready to meet me due to various reasons of course, so I'm her online ****** of some kind.

If I stop talking to her (remove her from the chat program) I become VERY depressed and 1-2-3-4 days later I can not control the urge to add her back, she gladly accepts the invitation and the chat begins again.

Sometimes she implies that meeting her is possible, using various ways but then backs off (classic friendzone, show the carrot to make me interested and then stop showing it, leaving me frustrated).

I can not get her and never will, yet connecting to anyone else is not easy for me, nearly impossible unless on a shallow level.

The thing is: I'm very depressed, every day more and more (she senses it and feeds of it I assume) and its getting worse.

How can I get rid off it?

The girl is a nympho and has sex with a bunch of different men, always looking for more, its very shallow, physical sex. She has dozens of online guys like me who feed her narcissism and ego, while in reality having sex with mostly married men who do not provide her the emotional leverage she craves.

Some of the things she likes to tell me and presumably other online "pursuers" as she calls us:

- I sit on a high tower and look at you with mixed feelings
- I have just had great sex with a great lover (but you cant have me RIGHT NOW, maybe later)
- Women like me choose wisely
- you dont know anything about my life
- you dont know what I think
- I like you (right)
- here is a picture of me, tell me what you think (she has shown me 100's of pictures, and always expects compliments and more...)

she loves to discuss herself, but not others, when the conversation changes the subject from how amazing she is, she can become arrogant and say "what you write is drivel".

I realize its very weak of me to stay tuned into her but I cant walk away, or so it seems.

Any tips?

A catfish?

Reality is people can pretend to be whoever they want to be online.

Unless you've actually had a face to face telephone call for instance via Skype, you really can't trust what she looks like. Nor do you know if her IQ is above 165. Nor do you even know what field of work she is in.

She sounds like you f buddy and is probably using you somewhat.

Sounds like an episode of Catfish from MTV.

Do you see a therapist and have you discussed the situation with a T?

Sounds like someone is bullshytting you.

PS. Standard friend zone = I don't see this man as any kind of possible romantic interest.
Not dangling carrots, that's not being friend zoned, that's being teased.

Actually the classic fz involves the occasional carrot.

As in "soon, wait for a bit more, not right now..".

Take it from a woman, you've got it wrong...

I'll try and clarify officially....

I don't think you can really trust her, tbh.. I'm sorry you're struggling so much

Definition of tease

d. To arouse sexual desire in (someone) deliberately with no intention of having sex.

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Definition of friend zone
verb [ T ]„ä /ˈfrend.zəʊn/ /ˈfrend.zoʊn/ informal

„K „J ƒ×

to make someone understand that you want to be their friend, but not to have a romantic or sexual relationship with them:

I can't believe she friendzoned me.

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There's a distinct difference, and the fact that this girl has you so confused you actually believe they're related is worrying.

They are not from the same planet, which just reinforces my belief that she is bullshytting you from here to tumbuktoo, and you're just lapping it up.

Men who get friend zoned are about as sexy as a lamp, nobody is going to be teasing a lamp, aka someone in the friend zone.
If you're being teased, you're NOT in the friend zone, you cant be both, its just physically impossible to be in two places at once...

Take that from a woman, not whatever ideas and definitions you've poorly managed to formulate yourself, or lies you've been fed for whatever reason.

Oh, and if she was actually a nympho she'd screw you no questions asked. Nvm "friendship".

Shes ********ting me yes. She has paranoid personality disorder and cant meet me. Or so she says.

She did offer sex a few weeks into the friendship.

Now its like: one week she promises to meet, the next week she goes silent and enjoys hearing my frustrations. She us basically a bully tease. Abusing many loners on steam. A place where lonely nerds play games. Its a sweet spot for attention wh0ring women.

You don't even know if IS a she.

This person is never going to meet you. they're not even a friend. I know it might not be easy, but cutting off contact is the best thing to do.
It might upset you but in the long run it's the only solution. if you're worried about becoming depressed, talk to a therapist.

Attention whoring??? Please explain this illogical thinking. If she sleep with multi partner she's not a *****e she is expressing her sexuality if she was sleeping with you. Then she would be cheating on you.

When a person tells you who they ... Male or Female ... Believe them.

Have you two ever had at least a phone calls or Skype?

flirting is fun for me or was until i got married. then i didn't need any other mans acceptance. me and my husband were flirts and still flirt with each other, its been 20 years of marriage.i just thought flirting was fun but usually only did with people i was interiorly attracted to. looks can help, but i find that useless.

I have a male acquaintance who makes this sort of catfish thing his hobby. His coupe d'gras is to ask them for a cyber session which he then posts in the forums for all to see.

Sometimes I hate the internet.
Please be careful and Take good care of yourself.

^^^Oh, good lord, there's a real heads up for you (oops, lol, no pun intended) I mean a real insight to keep in mind!

I think you're being catfished. Have you seen the show? This situation has many red flags of a catfish situation.

And best case scenario, she IS a she and everything she tells you is true. But----she has many horrible qualities and treats you very poorly.

I really hope you can move on. She may be intoxicating but you will only get emotionally burned in the end. And maybe physically injured, too, if she really is a nympho who sleeps around, God only knows what diseases she may give you. I don't think it's worth risking your health and future healthy relationships because of this woman. (I mean if the woman of your dreams later comes along but decides to give you the pass because you've got herpes or something like that.)

thank u everyone

I'm sorry but it seems to me like you have met a catfish. Since you have not Skyped with her or seen her in real time, she could be anyone. I understand what it feels like to be so attached to someone as I've experienced it many times but my best suggestion is slowly distance from her.

Put her on mute so when she calls and texts, you won't get a notification and therefore you won't be tempted to reply. Keep yourself busy and maybe play immersive online games, watch YouTube, or go outdoors so you get your mind off of her.

It sounds impossible but believe me, it IS possible. After a while you will start to drift away from her slowly. And before you know it, she's in your past! I know your can do this.

I dated a guy online for almost a year and when we broke up, I was devastated. I couldn't stop stalking him and I was so mad at myself that I wasn't enough for him. Eventually I found another love and moved on with my life. It was sad but I got over it.

I never thought I'd get over him but I certainly did! Now I hate him and don't even like hearing his name anywhere. Don't worry. You WILL eventually get over this stupid chick. You deserve wayyy better!! Good luck