[fijiisland]

Please don't judge me, just asking:

I have had this "booty" type relationship going on for awhile, 2 years on and off- the guy was always texting me "hey beautiful", "when can I see you", etc.

Over past few months, his messages gradually went away. one minute he would text me "you must be with your new boyfriend" and then 2 days later would say "you're so hot" and then nothing for a week. Then out of nowhere he would text "I'm so happy you found a boyfriend" "I;m happy for you."

I got mad at one point and sent him nasty texts (this was a normal thing for us). I told him he must have a new lover, etc, then I said good luck with everything and sorry for everything. So I get mad because I feel thrown to the curb, and then a few days go by and I start feeling better, like I am moving on and then bam, he sends another message and gets me all crazy again!!

My best guess is he has been with someone else the past few months and was trying to save me on the side in case she dumped him. so last night his final text was "you must have a new boyfriend, you deserve the best". What should I say back to that?
He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I know this is a silly question. Our relationship we had was so weird- naughty texts all the time, then we would get mad at each other and say mean things, then nice things, and yes we are old!! I don't want him for a real boyfriend or anything but part of me misses what we had.

It hurts to lose a non-relationship. I'm starting to grieve one myself. Hugs.

[healingme4me]

What to reply? That your boyfriend took off with his girlfriend and you're bummed about it?

Seems like your nonrelationship code words/style.

[catmom1302]

I think you need to tell him you're done with the games and just block him. You're only hurting yourself and the best thing you can do is walk away. If you feel better when he leaves you alone then take that into your own hands. Technology is a wonderful thing. If it's true that he is with someone else and was just keeping you as a backup, why would you ever want to be the second choice? You're going to find someone who is going to make you their number one priority- don't waste your time on this buffoon.

[Bill3]

What do you want to do now that you see yourself as being kept on just in case?

I can understand where you are coming from because I've been in a similar situation and had to learn the hard way. If I were you, I would cut off all contact from him. He's using you and you are only hurting yourself in the end.

and then a few days go by and I start feeling better, like I am moving on and then bam, he sends another message and gets me all crazy again!!

I could be wrong but I sense you have feelings for the man.

[PsychNitrous]

I have to agree with bohemiangirl85, I think it's time to end this. I read your thread yesterday, but I had to take some time to reply because it reminded me of a non-relationship I was in. It was a lot like what you described, things going well for so long, then a big fight and nasty things said, then we'd make up and things would be fine again. He also kept me along as a "booty call", even while dating several other women. I firmly believe that this man I was involved with was a narcissist, and was abusive towards me. I know your situation might not be as similar to mine, but if it is I think you should get out now, before you get hurt worse.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Without judging your decisions about having what you call a "booty" relationship, the fact of the matter is that many of the men that would welcome this type of relationship will be less than what I would call decent men.

I don't do the booty, friends with benefits thing, but I will say this trying to be objective. Regardless of whether you're in an exclusive attached relationship or not with this guy, he is a manipulative jerk.

It sounds like he manipulates you into being pulled into things but I could be wrong but you don't sound like you're all that into the guy except I guess, the sex. Is it worth the pain he causes you for the sex?