[UCLAFan]

I have no real friends in the metro area where I live.the people where I live tend to be mean.i have some online & out of town friends.but I have nobody to really hang out with.i also have not dated in 17 years.in 2010 I hooked up with a guy a few times because I was very lonely.i was not even attracted to the guy.he had bad body order & was kind of bum looking.i see a counselor about 2 times a month & my counselor thinks I should do online dating.i tried it a little but think I got catfished a few times.also in the late 1990's I dated & lived with a very unstable abusive guy.then left him & he stalked me.he went to jail.Did not see my stalker for 15 to 17 years.then July of 2015 my former ex of a stalker contacted me out of the blue for the first time in 15 to 17 years.he called me from a hotel in the town I lived in.i acted like I was not me on the phone.i got rid of my first Twitter account & changed my name & location on Facebook.i no longer use my legal name on social media.I also do not have much to do with my family.i have spent the last few holidays all alone eating tv dinners.the last person I hung out with was in 2013 & she treated me like crap.then when I cut that friendship off she cussed me off for days via text messages.i always attract unstable men & women.ones who end up making bad friends or bad boyfriend's.i am female & I attract losers on public transit.i mostly now keep quiet on public transit & in other situations.but if I keep to myself it is hard to make friends.I am tired of being alone & also tired of getting to know people & them then treating me like crap

here's a hug I'm sorry these are things you're dealing with. Loneliness is the worst and so are crappy relationships.

[Crazy Hitch]

Just my two cents worth:

Yup. You've been thrown a pretty damn horrendous ordeal with your ex and his abusive ways; as well as your friend who treated you like crap. I'm not denying nor undermining the experience you went through.

However.

You do view the world and people negatively; understandably; based on this sad experience.

You stated: "people where I live tend to be mean". This is a rather swooping general statement.

Unfortunately if you project this view on the world with people you do meet in your area; you'll find it difficult to make meaningful friendships.

I'm trying to sense what sort of interaction level you get with people. Do you work? Belong to a library? Go to a gym etc.

[UCLAFan]

I have become a bit of a loner

Are there certain activities which interest you? Maybe find a meet up group? Maybe take a class? Not all "social" kinds of activities will grant you new friends, but it is a way to put yourself out there and start relating to people more.

[UCLAFan]

I attend baseball games.enough that I know some of the ushers at the games.but one usher last year called me a liar & this up coming season I think I will just avoid him