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Member
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 57
7 17 hugs
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#1
I'm a romantic.
I love chocolates, warm wishes, hugs... I love love. I adore my partner, he is amazing and I really love him. But he doesn't do romance the same way that I do. He's more of a companionship type, as opposed to swooning. He does express his affection. But it's usually subtle; he isn't big on focusing on emotions. I don't mind that, but sometimes I find it hard to understand. For example, today I sent him a Valentine's Day message, and he hasn't replied. It's certainly not the end of the world, but as a lover of romance, and of the one man, I feel like maybe I'll have to ignore my love of romance (or read more romance novels) for as long as I'm in the relationship (I'm hoping for the long haul). I was just wondering if anyone else had been in a relationship with someone who had the complete opposite approach to romance to themselves, and whether you were able to find a balance between the two approaches? __________________ “One for the Prophet, the wide open eye… Two for his brunt and the sign of the fist… Three for Uyane, the unclad sword… Four for Mykrm, the hammer of his law… Five for Oyan of the ash-stained leaf… Six for Thaliszar and the healing hand…” (R. Lee Smith, The Last Hour of Gann) |
Anonymous37955, bearguardian
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Supreme Artisan
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 6,618
9 205 hugs
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#2
People just show romance in different ways. Just because he doesn't do romance the way you do doesn't mean it's not there at all. Maybe ask for a compromise. Do a little of each other's way of showing affection?
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Member
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 57
7 17 hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
I think he expresses his just through respect, through having me around, occasional unexpected gifts, and sometimes there are gestures which don't seem like it at first - but when he explains himself, it becomes apparent he was doing something because he cares a lot. It's all quite subtle, but I do see it. I guess it just sometimes feels a bit awkward when the more overt romance that I express isn't reciprocated. But mostly I need to remind myself that it's not because he doesn't care, it's just a different communication style. I don't really expect a solution. But I am curious as to how others may have approached such situations. __________________ “One for the Prophet, the wide open eye… Two for his brunt and the sign of the fist… Three for Uyane, the unclad sword… Four for Mykrm, the hammer of his law… Five for Oyan of the ash-stained leaf… Six for Thaliszar and the healing hand…” (R. Lee Smith, The Last Hour of Gann) |
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ɘvlovƎ
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,588
(SuperPoster!)
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#4
Hmmmm I'd personally find it a bitter pill to swallow if I sent my partner a Happy Valentine's Day message and they didn't reply at all. Not cool
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Member
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 57
7 17 hugs
given |
#5
I asked him about it... apparently he was half-asleep when he first got it, and ended up falling back to sleep. Then was surprisingly awoken and distracted later on. But honestly, I know he doesn't mean it badly regardless. He isn't the best at expressing affection (I think due to trauma and emotional repression learnt as a defense mechanism). Which is challenging sometimes, but I know he cares... doesn't always make it easy to swallow, but does make it easier than it could be.
__________________ “One for the Prophet, the wide open eye… Two for his brunt and the sign of the fist… Three for Uyane, the unclad sword… Four for Mykrm, the hammer of his law… Five for Oyan of the ash-stained leaf… Six for Thaliszar and the healing hand…” (R. Lee Smith, The Last Hour of Gann) |
New Member
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: Portland, Oregon.
Posts: 5
7 |
#6
I feel for you.
And I don't think it has much to do with anything of being romantic, but the fact that you give him attention and affection, yet he doesn't seem to acknowledge it, which kinda feels at times like he doesn't acknowledge you. I have been there, and I remember it hurts a lot. I don't know how long you two have been together, or how serious your relationship is, but I think the only thing that matters is you are going to accept this is who he is. Sounds like you want to be ok with this, but it also sounds like it's not the first time, and these things make relationships deteriorate over time. I really hope you work things out, it sounds like you are a very sweet person. |
Member
Member Since Oct 2023
Location: Bangalore
Posts: 167
11 hugs
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#7
I also liked a very emotionally repressed person. He didn’t show much emotion and he himself thought he had a blank face. Internally he was very scared and anxious. I was openly anxious and yet I liked showing love. But it’s alright, things have changed. He said he has to focus on studying and we didn’t date because he wasn’t ready. I respect that and yet I feel I should have known. That I’d get emotionally involved.
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