Is This Person A Work Bully or Am I Being Too Sensitive?

I've been having ongoing issues with an overbearing coworker and I'm not sure if I am indeed being too sensitive and I should just "Let Go" or if I should set another boundary...

This week: I took a PTO day to take my father to doctor's appointments. I notified my manager who approved the day off. I didn't feel the need to share my whereabouts with coworkers.

However, around 10 am yesterday, I got a text from my LOUDMOUTH coworker that said something like "Are you OK? You could have let someone know that you weren't going to be here today..."

Here's my issue... She's NOT my manager. My whereabouts really shouldn't concern her especially since our roles don't affect one another. My absence will have no bearing on her completing her duties. So, why did she make it a point to tell me that I should have placed my absence on the team calendar? Our manager didn't say anything about doing that...

So, I wonder if I AM being too sensitive? I do struggle with deciphering concern from pettiness. Maybe she was just being concerned and expressed it in her abrasive manner (although I could have done without the reprimand for not placing my absence on the team calendar). Was she just trying to be annoyingly helpful?

The manipulative codependent in me wants to forward the text to my manager and work on a diabolical plan to get her fired, but I recognize the flaws in the plan...

UGH.... I REALLY don't like this woman.

I always let my closest colleagues know when I have a day off, and we are required to add any time off to our team calendar, even if it's just a few hours for a doctor's appointment.

I agree that your whereabouts on your day off are nobody's business, but I find it a little strange not to tell anyone except your manager that you won't be coming to work.

Although your coworker could have asked your manager if you were ill or had the day off instead of texting you, but maybe she really was just concerned. I think your dislike for this person is making you see everything she does in a negative light.

I always let my co workers know when I am going to take a PTO (personal time off) short version I dont work in a job where I am self employed or other work environment where if I am out no one takes up the slack and has to take over my part of the job.

usually what happens in the job that I am in if I am out on PTO/ vacation or sick day \ sick leave or maternity leave someone else in the company has to take over doing my job tasks until i return. my jobs work inst the kind that just sits on my desk indefinitely waiting for me to come back. what I do in my job ends up getting re delegated to my co workers to do until my return to my job position.

since my co workers will have to take over my job while I am not available on the job I feel its only common courtesy for me to say hey jane Im going to be out tomorrow on PTO, you may be asked to take my calls or handle this situation for me while I am not available, then take the time to explain the part of my job they may be asked to handle while I am not on the job.

this way my co workers dont get blindsided with the supervisor slapping a new work order on them out of the blue and their trying to manage their own job positions and work load while trying to work on my work load too.

I mean i wouldnt want to come in to work and find out my co worker decided to take a PTO that day and expected to pick up their part of the job, not knowing where they left off, what they are trying to accomplish and how they are handling a situation...

i also think of it this way would I want to show up at my treatment providers office and see a substitute and the sub not know anything on what my treatment provider and I are doing. or would a sibling of mine want to show up to work and be told hey you have to do yours and your co co worker filing system today and not know the co workers system of filing. or a friends factory work the same thing the friend would not like to be told ok besides doing your normal part of making this object you have to also make your co workers part of this item all day long...

see what I mean. in my job and those that I know its just common courtesy to let people we work with know whats going on so they can better pick up the slack that we leave dangling while not on the job. so I always inform my boss and co workers when I know I am taking PTO.

I agree with the above post. Our manager would have informed our team about an absence. The details are nobody's business obviously.

It sounds like she was trying make her concern sound work based when in fact she was probably just a bit curious,maybe even wanting to ensure you were ok without asking directly.

I think sending the text to your boss would probably cause you to come across unfavorably, imho.
From the outside it just doesn't appear like your co worker did anything wrong.
As the previous poster said, it seems your intense dislike for this person, taints your opinion of everything she does.
Must make th working environment stressful.

Hope you find away to not feel so effected by your colleague. All the best.

PTO Personal Time Off / Personal Time is Personal she is the info person the one that knows everything about everyone at work. You sound like the type that goes to work and focuses on there work and maybe just content with work and next time just put your name on the calendar don't let it bother you.

Good points everyone.

Although no one is really affected by my absence (no one has to make up for my work), I guess it wouldn't hurt to put it on the calendar.

...although when I informed this person that our boss didn't tell me to put my absence on the calendar, her response was...

"That's because what you do is so unimportant that you probably don't need to..."

See what I mean? Her methods of delivery are down right rude.

Even her text that said "Your High Yellow *** could have told us you wouldn't be here today..." is crossing SO many lines.

I'll keep being the bigger person, but goodness.

The introvert in me doesn't see a need to broadcast any of my business to coworkers -- especially coworkers like THAT. Mountains out of mole hills, I guess...

Exactly. I'm an introvert times ten. My job involves quite a bit of creative energy that requires silence and solitude, so I don't feel the need for idle chit chat, etc.

I think part of our struggle (correction: MY struggle) is that she's just SOOOO LOUD and ... BIG... with everything. I feel it's unnecessary (not the only one that has expressed this).

I've coexisted with extroverts before, so I will just have to suck it up (she'll most likely concede that I'm stuck up... who cares).

It's just SOOOOOO annoying....

Yeah, she's a bully, and she's mistaken you for an easy punching bag. Send her this in an email:

... and copy your manager in the message.