[frigidClemency]

Hey so, I have been best friends with this girl since daycare, and she is truly amazing. She is kind, sociable, smart and a person a lot of people like and respect. However, for about 3 years now, I have found myself trying to escape the relationship, and its the reasons for this that are confusing me.
I can't tell exactly what started it but whenever she is around I just feel like she is being overbearing, even though she really isn't. I don't understand why, but just hearing her voice makes me cringe mentally.
She asks me normal questions any friend would ask, but I keep finding myself get extremely mad at her and wanting her to just go away. Since about a year back, I've tried to throw her cues of not wanting to talk as much by keeping my answers short and trying to seem like I am concentrating on something else, however, not in inappropriate situations because I can to some degree control it. We never hang out outside of school, but when I get into situations where we do, she always makes a huge deal about it which makes sense, but also pisses me off.
I haven't​ tried to talk to her, since I don't know the orgin of my rage, I however sometime bring up certain things, like the fact that she doesn't have to talk to everyone and share everything she does, but when I do, she acts like I am just raining on her parade, and when I bring up valid reasons she turns the topic around to things I am not good at. That is also how she starts conversations from time to time, an example is my lack of social skills, she'd say something along the lines of "You were so fun back when you were younger and more social, I wonder how it would be if you were like that today." And I KNOW she doesn't mean to make me sad, and I also know this isn't the reason I hate her, she started doing that after her voice began grating on my nerves. It has just make me feel more annoyed by her presence than before.
I am just unhappy in this relationship, but I can not end it just like that. 1, because of my intense bouts of anxiety that arrive everytime I try to talk to someone or enter a space with over 10 people, I am unable to make other friends. 2, my last year of highschool is coming to a close, and I know we will be going to different schools, so I want our relationship to fade out, cause I don't want to hurt her. Which is why I've put up with this for so long, but I feel as if I am about to crack, plus I don't want to miraculously make more real life friends only to realize the problem persists. I almost never feel such consistent angry towards anyone, except a few people within my family.
I am unsure of what to do, I feel like I need to make this friendship last at least just a few more months, but I feel selfish for saying so, since it means I am going to dump her one way or another after I don't need her anymore to get through my classes, and she doesn't deserve that.
If anyone could help me I would be forever grateful, she is the last real life friend I have, and I am scared of what will happen when I let her go.

[MickeyCheeky]

Perhaps her behavior has became more and more annoying to you and now you just can't stand it. Not to mention, people change and friendships do as well - especially when you're on high school. I agree about it letting fade with time..

Yes I agree fading out seems kindest.

Tbh many friendships fade around this time as we grow and change - hopefully new people will come into your life and hers.

[Leyla]

hi there
i am having similar issues, in my case the friendship has been almost 20 years, but i am at different stage in my life now, she keeps texting me saying " i have not heard from you" or " call me sometime and try to keep in touch".... i am trying to come up with a gentle way to let her know that i just don't feel our friendship is the same anymore, she can be controlling, and if you try to voice your opinion she tries to shoot it down

anyways i better do it sooner than later, because i have been basically feeling like this for a couple of years now.

i don't want to hurt her feelings but at the same time i feel like i am leaving her hanging, by not texting or calling her as much as she would like.

so your not alone, you got do what your heart or gut instinct tells you.

take care

[frigidClemency]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Perhaps her behavior has became more and more annoying to you and now you just can't stand it. Not to mention, people change and friendships do as well - especially when you're on high school. I agree about it letting fade with time..

Originally Posted by prefabsprout

Yes I agree fading out seems kindest.

Tbh many friendships fade around this time as we grow and change - hopefully new people will come into your life and hers.

Originally Posted by Leyla

hi there
i am having similar issues, in my case the friendship has been almost 20 years, but i am at different stage in my life now, she keeps texting me saying " i have not heard from you" or " call me sometime and try to keep in touch".... i am trying to come up with a gentle way to let her know that i just don't feel our friendship is the same anymore, she can be controlling, and if you try to voice your opinion she tries to shoot it down

anyways i better do it sooner than later, because i have been basically feeling like this for a couple of years now.
i don't want to hurt her feelings but at the same time i feel like i am leaving her hanging, by not texting or calling her as much as she would like.
so your not alone, you got do what your heart or gut instinct tells you.

take care

Thank you all. I think I am just gonna have to pull through it and then fade out, then if she still persists I'll have to tell her, probably via messaging, hope she understands and doesn't think I am just being rude.