[Blanche_deveraux]

Hi. I've only introduced myself the once but I'm Blanche.

Last year I lost everything. My marriage ended, I lost a kid, met someone new, he dumped me twice, lost my entire family and my home, and yet here I stand. This is a massively condensed version of 2016.

So 2017 had just happened, and although I am the most depressed and anxious I have ever been in life, I've been talking to a few people to try to get back out there. I've missed the guy that dumped me twice crazy. I've never missed a guy so much before. I'm 90% of the time very good at letting go. It's to the point that since the first time he dumped me, I have yet to go on a date with someone else. I finally started talking to a few people. One asked me out for tonight. It's been about a year since I went on a single date with another person. I even said yes, but when it came right down to it couldn't go. I figured he just wouldn't like me anyways and saving him the gas was kinder. Reality is, I keep hoping karma chameleon will come back a second time, although logically I know he won't and even if he does it's a terrible idea, and no one as good looking or stable will date me anyways, so why make the guy waste the gas to regret his decision.

I get it, it's me. Even if I can't get as amazing of an individual, I have to let go. If I stay in the same perpetually alone state, it doesn't matter. Holding on hurts and costs me a lot. Has anyone else been through this? What did you do?

[Crazy Hitch]

I think you need to see yourself as a worthy person and worthy of being loved and love in return. Otherwise you're going to keep pushing all the good guys away. There is someone out there for you; you're just working through a lot of events that you have been through -some very hectic ones indeed.

I hope you find a sense of stability soon