Is it horrible of me to loathe a family member's (step) child? I am sick of her disrupting family gatherings. No she doesn't have a disorder affecting her behaviour it is entirely from a complete lack of parenting. I have begun to find excuses to just not attend. This isn't fair to me and I resent having to make the decision to not spend time with my own family. I did attend Easter and it was a complete disaster. I can tell by body language that everyone is fed up.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

Is it horrible of me to loathe a family member's (step) child? I am sick of her disrupting family gatherings. No she doesn't have a disorder affecting her behaviour it is entirely from a complete lack of parenting. I have begun to find excuses to just not attend. This isn't fair to me and I resent having to make the decision to not spend time with my own family. I did attend Easter and it was a complete disaster. I can tell by body language that everyone is fed up.

Maybe it's just me but I think this is a reasonable reaction to somebody who disrupts every family gathering. I guess it's not possible to talk to the parent? I'm guessing that would start WW III? I don't blame you for wanting to stay away although I hate you'll be missing out on family time because of one person's negative behavior. I guess your options are (1) find some way for it not to impact you (2) talk to the parent (3) miss time with your family or (4) find times to spend with family members when said child is not around. I'm sorry you have this dilemma. Best wishes on getting it resolved.

You are absolutely correct with your suggestions. My SIL and brother though are not approachable (I just can't comprehend his having to deal with this but I have noticed he simply chooses to block out the behaviour altogether). I do speak up on occasion and it results in awkwardness (ie. that's no way to speak to your mom, watch your language, etc) and my brother and SIL most definitely fail to appreciate it. Yes, I spend time with other family members apart from family get-togethers; so, it hasn't resulted in and estrangement. I have begun to find ways to gather ahead of time whether or not she will be in attendance. For instance I will say to my brother, "I need numbers for dinner."

Thankyou for your suggestions. I suppose I will have to find some tactful way of approaching my brother.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

You are absolutely correct with your suggestions. My SIL and brother though are not approachable (I just can't comprehend his having to deal with this but I have noticed he simply chooses to block out the behaviour altogether). I do speak up on occasion and it results in awkwardness (ie. that's no way to speak to your mom, watch your language, etc) and my brother and SIL most definitely fail to appreciate it. Yes, I spend time with other family members apart from family get-togethers; so, it hasn't resulted in and estrangement. I have begun to find ways to gather ahead of time whether or not she will be in attendance. For instance I will say to my brother, "I need numbers for dinner."

Thankyou for your suggestions. I suppose I will have to find some tactful way of approaching my brother.

That's tricky isn't it? Good luck on your conversation with your brother.