I used to have friends, or so I thought, until someone started saying bad things about me. The friends I had just listened to it and never warned me about what she was saying behind my back. I realized they were not really friends at all because a real friend would never allow someone else to make a fool of me. A real friend would have warned me that someone was degrading me and working on taking my man from me. How could anyone treat me so poorly when I was only good to them? I lost the friends and the man because he was a gullible fool. Not one of them was loyal to me and I would never do something so devious as to take another woman's man.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm sorry this happened. Can you elaborate a little bit more? Perhaps there are reasons why your friends have never told you that. Have you asked them? What did they say?

[Trippin2.0]

Firstly nobody took your man, he left willingly, he's not an innocent fool who got lead astray.

Secondly, these people were never your friends, that's why they could do what they did.

I don't have any advice on how to choose proper friends, because I've had mine since childhood and dropped the two faced ones I picked up along the way.

So sorry you've had to experience this level of betrayal on both sides.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. You must feel terribly betrayed. I agree with Trippin2.0 about your man. His leaving is all on him, regardless of the temptation offered. Have you always (or do you know) picked friends that were less than kind to you? This could have just been a situation where you picked the wrong kind of friends. You could reflect on this and be more careful in the future. Again, I am so sorry you are going through this. Know that you have support on this forum. If they treated you like that, you are better off without them. There are diamonds in the rough, you just have to find them.

Thanks for the replies. I must disagree with some posters. The woman absolutely plotted to take him away from me. It took her quite some devising to come up with her plan. She is conniving and devious as are HER "friends". I have news for her. The people she thinks are friends are not really friends of hers either. NO ONE will be there for HER in the end. Even the man they took. He is not loyal to any woman. He will break her heart because he has none of his own and is incapable of love.

As for the friends. I agree. They never were really friends, I was just duped to believe they were because they were nice to me. I have learned that I cannot trust anyone in all of this. I will try to learn to live without. I have no desire to repeat the tragedy.

RaisingKay,

Well, look at it this way: what exactly did you lose? You wrote that you were with a man who you claim is actually unfaithful because you wrote "he is not loyal to any woman." And, this former friend of yours has a reputation for being conniving and manipulative.

What it sounds to me like, is you were in a relationship with the wrong guy from the start, if he left you for your former friend. No man leaves a woman unless he wants to; even if he's being led away by another woman. If a man truly loves the woman he's with, no amount of manipulation from another woman, who's competing for his attention, will work on him. So, I wouldn't mourn the loss of that guy, based on what you wrote. Consider yourself lucky, actually. You deserve to be with a man who won't stray from you or the relationship, no matter what challenges happen.

As for your former friend who is the conniver. Learn to be more picky with who you choose as close friends, and who you should put in the acquaintance category. Of course, that is always a challenge, because real jerks can disguise themselves as the nicest, kindest people to your face but then stab you in the back when you least expect it. But, if you learn to keep the gates of self-disclosure shut, and only open them with people who have earned your trust, then you will choose better people to be in your circle of friends. That's been my experience anyway.

Just consider this group of people a life lesson. We all have them, all the time. I left a huge group of friends when something similar happened to me. Whenever I think about what they did to me, it still upsets me. But, they were toxic to my well-being, and they didn't support me on my life journey, as far as being friends who bring something beneficial to your life do.