[JoeS21]

Maybe I didn't ask this correctly. Why is it necessary for a true friend to be of similar intelligence or not much smarter or less smart than oneself?

I would like to learn much more about this, so if you know of any good websites about this, please let me know. I am also interested in explanations you are willing to post.

[scorpiosis37]

So that friends can relate to one another, have conversations they find meaningful, and discuss social and political issues in a way that both people add to the conversation and can understand one another. If you're friends with someone who can't keep up intellectually and you feel you're constantly holding back because you know they wont be able to understand you when you're talking about the things that matter to you, it can be really frustrating. And vice versa. I could care less about someone's IQ on a piece of paper, but I do care if my friends can hold a meaningful conversation on social, political, and economic issues. I want to be able to talk about the news or literature. I care about abstract thinking and intellectual sparring. If someone can't hold that kind of a conversation or just isn't interested in that stuff, it probably won't lead to a friendship. And there are probably people who wouldn't want to be friends with me because I'm not always happy, I talk about politics, and I put my social views on social media. Other people like to avoid confrontation or talking about polarizing subjects.

[Sunflower123]

Is it necessary? I'd be interested in any articles you find about this. Best wishes.

[divine1966]

I don't know if it is necessary but people should be able to discuss things at the same level. It's hard to do if someone is not at the same level. You can hang out with people but not necessarily develop meaningful friendship

I don't know about any studies regarding measurable IQ and friendships.

I think similar interests, humour, values and beliefs are important - they're what make for the conversations between friends.

Intelligence (IQ) I'm not so sure of, then there's always the problems with measuring IQ. People often think I'm smart (people have said that on here even) but the one IQ test I did was a low result. My friends seem smart to me, but again not sure how that can be measured accurately - many of them are higher achievers than me, but then that isn't always an accurate measurement either.

I'm not sure the words 'should' or 'necessary' really apply to this. Rather, I think this just naturally happens. People will gravitate towards those they can share with the expectation of understanding and a resulting discourse. I've been aggravated in conversations when the other party doesn't see the context of a discussion or situation and I've also been aggravated by my own inability to understand. Sometimes this is all owing to intelligence. But more so I think this is on account of a difference in interests. It certainly is about communication style too. One need not be super intelligent to talk about subjects with a great deal of confidence.

I could never understand my own parent's relationship. My father is mensa. My mother far from that. I always considered my mother, bless her, as rather dumb. On the other hand my mother was probably the most practically minded person you could have met. SHe just had this innate understanding of the world and seemed to be greatly respected for that. What they talked about I haven't a clue but it seemed to work.