I can't let this go!

20 years ago I married a man with 3 very young boys, I hadn2 young boys too and he and I had one more. The marriage was happy, but we had some money difficulties and the kids often didn't have a lot. My kids are adults now, and my stepchildren resent us like crazy. My husbands parents have a great deal to do with this, but it's driving me crazy! I have a great relationship to the other boys, but every time I interact with his kids I obsess over what we might have done wrong, feel extremely angry and CANNOT let it go. My stomach hurts, I can't sleep and I ruminate on it over and over. What can I do!

Can you have your husband step in and talk to them? I guess as a last resort you could gather them up and talk to them or go to therapy to process your feelings so it doesn't bother you anymore. Best wishes.

Have you tried meditation? It might sound odd if you've never really tried it but I promise you it isn't just some new age thing. It actually helps and I found that in my situation it really did completely help me release alot of anger and anxiety that I had built up over the years, of worrying what I might have done wrong or didn't do right... Etc. It doesn't have to be a big thing and even if its 5 min a day of simply sitting in silence it truly does do wonders. Just make sure your sitting in absolute silence, close your eyes, sit down in a comfy spot in a comfy position (whatever that may mean to you) and try to clear your head completely of any thought or concern at all. I imagine myself in a completely white room. Just pure nothingness. This allows your brain to focus on the things it needs to without you conscious interference. It truly does work wonders with anxiety and anger over past issues. Also, I recommend the stone Malachite. Once again it may seem like an odd recommendation but for me, Malachite removes past negative energy. Stones really do absorb or radiate energy and our bodies are very receptive to this stuff. I have to cleanse my Malachite often as it is a stone that absorbs LOTS of negative energy.

I hope these recommendations help. I feel for you in this situation and my heart does hurt that you are going through this right now, I can only imagine the pain. When the emotional angst that you describe is causing disruptions in your physical life, it only becomes that much easier to blame yourself for that much more and no one deserves that. You deserve to treat yourself, meditate and I do suggest finding some stones that work to take that negative energy away. A therapist might be helpful as well. Anything that can provide you with some relief for these fears and anxieties that your brain is bombarding you with right now. That way, it can leave room for the ways in which you have helped those in your life come to the forefront and I think the good things will only follow.

Has their father spoken to them about this? It is his responsibility to do so. He owes you that.

This is sad I have empathy for you, but this is what happens in mixed family marriages. I would focus all my thoughts and attention on the family who supports you. The Step kids don't know all you have done for them. It will take more growing up until they see this.

I had same kind of trouble, my husband stepped right up and made things clear for his boys that respect is a rule period!

I agree see a Therapist