[passionfruit3]

So i just was approached by someone on an app and she said i heard you wanted a long term friend i immediately said cool we started talking and i found out she was a girl so we wanted to find a way to communicate other than the app so it was like messenger.we couldn't find eachother all i found was a picture of a very young girl who i thought might be nine or ten.long story short that was her.she is 12 years old im 24.is this okay im just curious for a 24 year old to befriend a 12 year old.

[LiteraryLark]

Absolutely not. No way. You need to find adult friends.

[~Christina]

Oh hell no ! No no just no

Plus what in the world would you have in common with a 12 year old girl ?

Ick just ick

If this was a family member like a niece then maybe I could understand you guys hanging out sometimes...but this is a stranger that you met on an app right? 12 years difference wouldn't be as big of a deal if you were 24 and the other person was 36...but at 12 years old they are in such a different place in life than you are. What would you do together? Would you have anything in common? What would you talk about? I think it would be best to find adult friends. I wish you the best of luck.

You also have to consider how the child's parents would feel about you. Be careful.

[unaluna]

Watch out it could be a cop. Dont you watch television??

[passionfruit3]

You guys are acting a little twisted this girl and i today we talked about animals we will never meet in public this is not a pedophoilic thing if her parents have a problem they will tell her to end the friendship i live at home am alone and was seeking a friend i did not expect it to be a twelve year old but hey maybe god is strange that way.i am not sick sexual pervert for the record and dont think all adults are who befriend children for record i believe you should not be so close minded

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

You guys are acting a little twisted this girl and i today we talked about animals we will never meet in public this is not a pedophoilic thing if her parents have a problem they will tell her to end the friendship i live at home am alone and was seeking a friend i did not expect it to be a twelve year old but hey maybe god is strange that way.i am not sick sexual pervert for the record and dont think all adults are who befriend children for record i believe you should not be so close minded

I never suggested that you had any ill sexual intentions towards this child, but rather that you would have nothing in common. I'm sure your intentions are perfectly innocent but that doesn't mean it's the healthiest friendship.

[passionfruit3]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

I never suggested that you had any ill sexual intentions towards this child, but rather that you would have nothing in common. I'm sure your intentions are perfectly innocent but that doesn't mean it's the healthiest friendship.

Please explain further why?

[Sunflower123]

I think that is a really, really bad idea. Even though it's innocent....think about the optics of the situation. Please find another friend. You have questions about it yourself or you wouldn't be posting.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

You guys are acting a little twisted this girl and i today we talked about animals we will never meet in public this is not a pedophoilic thing if her parents have a problem they will tell her to end the friendship i live at home am alone and was seeking a friend i did not expect it to be a twelve year old but hey maybe god is strange that way.i am not sick sexual pervert for the record and dont think all adults are who befriend children for record i believe you should not be so close minded

But that's exactly what most people think of a grown adult befriending a minor and child. It IS sick and twisted that a grown adult hangs out with a 12 year old girl. It needs to end and I'm sorry you're so sad and lonely but a 12 year old girl? You need real adult friends.

[passionfruit3]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

But that's exactly what most people think of a grown adult befriending a minor and child. It IS sick and twisted that a grown adult hangs out with a 12 year old girl. It needs to end and I'm sorry you're so sad and lonely but a 12 year old girl? You need real adult friends.

Thats why the last part of that sentence was you should not be so close minded

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

Please explain further why?

As I previously said in my post, you two are at such different places in life and therefore wouldn't have much to talk about. What activities would you do together? You can't go out and drink, for example. Certain activities that are fine for adults may not be fine for this child. What would you have in common? And it does matter what the parents think because at 12 years of age, this child needs their permission to hang out with someone, I'm sure.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

Thats why the last part of that sentence was you should not be so close minded

It's nothing to do with being closeminded. It's simply not an option. You asked if you being a grown adult was okay being friends with a 12 year old minor and the consensus was no.

[passionfruit3]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

As I previously said in my post, you two are at such different places in life and therefore wouldn't have much to talk about. What activities would you do together? You can't go out and drink, for example. Certain activities that are fine for adults may not be fine for this child. What would you have in common? And it does matter what the parents think because at 12 years of age, this child needs their permission to hang out with someone, I'm sure.

You forget though this an entirely internet situation the most we do is show eachother pictures of are pets and of my drawings theres no going out i don't know were you got that ideal from in fact im disabled i depend on others for transport not that that matters. And theres many things to talk about just be nice and dont act like your better than her.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

You forget though this an entirely internet situation the most we do is show eachother pictures of are pets and of my drawings theres no going out i don't know were you got that ideal from in fact im disabled i depend on others for transport not that that matters. And theres many things to talk about just be nice and dont act like your better than her.

You never mentioned it was strictly internet. And you don't know if it's a real girl or a catfish...or a cop...

[unaluna]

Youre not hearing us. There are grown men out there on the internet who are looking for people who will take up with 12 year old girls. They do it by PRETENDING TO BE 12 YEAR OLD GIRLS. Have you heard of entrapment? This is how they do it. We are telling you for your own good.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

You guys are acting a little twisted this girl and i today we talked about animals we will never meet in public this is not a pedophoilic thing if her parents have a problem they will tell her to end the friendship i live at home am alone and was seeking a friend i did not expect it to be a twelve year old but hey maybe god is strange that way.i am not sick sexual pervert for the record and dont think all adults are who befriend children for record i believe you should not be so close minded

So why did you start this thread asking if this relationship is okay? It sounds like you've already made up your mind that it's fine.

Actually, it's not fine . . . and I think you know that yourself.

[passionfruit3]

Actually yoy guys i just realized something how this little girl came to find me there are several groups from art to depression. To everything and i made a post saying i was looking for a long term friend or someone i could take it slow with.i don't remember all that i said i know i mentioned not being intrestred in sex.i don't know if this girl just wandered onto this site cause her parents weren't watching her.i actually thought she was a guy at first.when i found out she was a girl and 12 i was disappointed but okay because she wanted a friend and i am alone. And there are always other chances.i am not a pervert but i am just wondering if this girl is already some type of sexual abuse victim. That she found me.how do i quit talking to her.though it seems dumb i am not good at being assertive with anyone.

[Sunflower123]

Let her down gently. Let her know the age difference is too much and you both need to be talking to people closer to your respective ages. I think you're avoiding a lot of trouble down the road. I really, really hope you find more appropriate friends since you seem lonely. Best wishes.

[Rose76]

You sure are good at rationalising.

So now you're intimating and suggesting that she is probably depressed and a possible victim of abuse . . . and wouldn't it be awful if you let her down.

My guess is that, if you find communicating with her to be gratifying, you will rationalize yourself into maintaining that connection. What we say probably won't influence you in the least.

[Artchic528]

I'm sorry, but I have to agree with the rest and say that this whole situation between you two is wrong. I know you have no malicious intent here, but all the same, there could be people who see it as predatory. Would you feel comfortable with a 12 year old girl talking to a complete stranger on the web? I certainly wouldn't be.

Another point was brought up that it could be a lure, an undercover officer who might be out there to find predators. Or it could be the opposite, an online predator who could be masquerading as a 12 year old girl to lure you into a false sense of security, taking advantage of you to put you in a very dangerous situation offline. I would be super careful about anything to do with anyone online who claims to be a 12 year old girl.

One more thing, you seem to be making up excuses as to why you SHOULD be continuing the communications. Perhaps you believe that she is being abused and/or feeling the things she is feeling because they are actually your own feelings and abuse being transferred onto her. Maybe you want a friend, someone to connect to so badly that you don't honestly care how risky the situation might be. I understand that you're very lonely and want a friend, but seriously, this isn't the way to go about it.

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

You guys are acting a little twisted this girl and i today we talked about animals we will never meet in public this is not a pedophoilic thing if her parents have a problem they will tell her to end the friendship i live at home am alone and was seeking a friend i did not expect it to be a twelve year old but hey maybe god is strange that way.i am not sick sexual pervert for the record and dont think all adults are who befriend children for record i believe you should not be so close minded

No, no. Absolutely no. If this is actually a 12-year-old girl, most likely her parents have absolutely no idea she is contacting strangers on the internet and would put a very quick end to it if they realized what she is doing. You are the adult here. Please do the adult thing and stop interacting with this individual immediately.

[Molinit]

Frankly, your judgment is so spectacularly poor you shouldn't be messaging or exchanging any communications with anyone on the internet

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Molinit

Frankly, your judgment is so spectacularly poor you shouldn't be messaging or exchanging any communications with anyone on the internet

I second this, first it was creepy sleazy men looking for nudes, now its a little girl...

Why not try offline friends instead. Decent people your own age?

People you can actually hang out with...

[Misssy2]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

You guys are acting a little twisted this girl and i today we talked about animals we will never meet in public this is not a pedophoilic thing if her parents have a problem they will tell her to end the friendship i live at home am alone and was seeking a friend i did not expect it to be a twelve year old but hey maybe god is strange that way.i am not sick sexual pervert for the record and dont think all adults are who befriend children for record i believe you should not be so close minded

Oh boy passion...it doesn't matter what your intentions are. Things can go wrong at any minute and you really could say just one thing that could be twisted as inappropriate if her parents ever read the correspondence and this type of thing can end you in JAIL really fast.

You found her..you can find someone else...be a "man" and tell this "child" that you have enjoyed talking to her but that you as a 24 year old man you find this to be inappropriate. Really, do this for yourself or you are going to be in a world of trouble otherwise...no matter how you look at it or rationalize it....