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#1
Apr 25, 2017, 11:04 AM
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I have been with my boyfriend now 2 years and I have bad anxiety and PTSD with meeting people. I have struggled meeting his brother and sisters as I know they judge me because we moved from the big smoke out closer to my family which is out in the country. He loves it here as much as I do and he obviously had to take a pay cut due to the different lifestyle to the city. I can't work at the moment due to working at a pub years ago and I was unfortunately working the night two men walked in with balaclavas and a shot gun and held it to my head. This incident changed everything for me and has effected my self esteem and confidence especially working again with the public and trusting people.
I have met my bfs parents and have visited a few times now. They are wonderful. But 2 of the 3 older siblings of his, talk badly of our relationship (mind you I've only met 1 of them) and they judge me and say nasty things like 'he is an idiot for moving all the way there for this girl of his' ... 'it's the worst decision and move he will ever make, the relationship won't work', '...why would he leave such a high paying job for some girl and for something else that pays so much less' etc etc. I heard all of this through his step father and it really hurt me knowing that this is what they see me as and I did nothing to deserve such stereotypical views of me. His brother had met me once and I was as pleasant as can be. I made sure he was comfortable in our home and made him breakfast and dinner. All he spoke about was his job, degree, the money he makes and how successful he is. I didn't have much to talk about with him and I could feel he was so so bored with our conversations. I couldn't bare being anywhere with him as I felt intimidated and really embarrassed about saying something that might not sound or be right. His sister has not met me and has said she also thinks my bf is an idiot for being with someone like me. I feel worthless and I feel I will never be good enough for anything. I have spoken to my partner about it and he said I need to forget it and remember that he is with me because he loves me and doesn't care what they think and that the reason he moved to the country with me, is to get away from all the stuff that causes him trouble. He reassured me that I have nothing to worry about and that he loves me very very much. I just can't shake it though. I don't understand why they would be against our relationship and why they think I am any less than they are because they have degrees and make a lot of money. Can anyone tell me how they would feel or what I should make of it all? I would really appreciate any advice |
 Anonymous50284, MickeyCheeky
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#2
Apr 25, 2017, 11:24 AM
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That's terrible to hear.. I'm so sorry
 I feel like your boyfriend isn't taking this seriosuly enough. While that was sweet of him to say, I think it's important to talk about this things (especially if you plan to have a serious relationship with him). I can only suggest to talk with him again and explain why this thing really matters to you. Big hugs and good luck 
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 Ag33
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#3
Apr 25, 2017, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
Thank you for that. I have spoken with him and he is very adamant that it means nothing and that I have nothing to be worried about. He doesn't cope with confrontation very well and he prefers to keep the peace. The peace in my head though, doesn't exist even more so now. I don't want to be what that trouble maker. So letting it be, seems the only way my bf wants to deal with it. I don't know how it's going to go down between us now. |
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#4
Apr 26, 2017, 03:07 PM
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Your physical mind is creating a very distorted perception of your sense of 'self' and this is due to unresolved mental & emotional patterns stemming from your earlier life experiences... These eventually need to be processed and released (purged)....
The current external circumstances do not actually warrant that you should feel 'worthless' - however your current inner state of being is contributing to the very real perception that you should feel this way in response to the external circumstances... My suggestion to you is that you make a conscious effort to shift your focus/attention away from the present external circumstances and all those details - and instead you have to engage in introspection (inner work) and shift your focus/attention inwardly... Important to spend more time observing the compulsive and habitual activity of the mind - like you are a spectator studying what is transpiring within you. Increasingly doing this will de-enegerize the physical mind's activity and open the door for increased clarity, new insights, and a heightened state of awareness which will help you navigate through this and bring about your healing. Really make an earnest effort to find the connection between how your earlier/past life experiences and your reaction to those experiences is influencing you to react in a specific way to these current life circumstances. You have to get to the heart of the matter and once you do - significant progress will be made... Wishing you well...
__________________
"Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it" |
| Ag33, carnalapathy, Sunflower123
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#5
Apr 26, 2017, 05:17 PM
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Thank you so so much.
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| wolfgaze
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#6
Apr 26, 2017, 05:31 PM
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There is a wonderful little book that delves into the nature of internal growth and of emotional release/purging... It's called 'The Untethered Soul' (Michael Singer)... Check it out if you're interested... 
__________________
"Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it" |
| Ag33
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#7
Apr 30, 2017, 04:57 AM
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Bought it online. Thanks for that. It's greatly appreciated
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| wolfgaze
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#8
May 01, 2017, 04:54 PM
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Ignore them where and when you can. He is your boyfriend and cares deeply for you. What does it say about his siblings who talk like this? It says something about them (and their character) and not you. I'm sorry you were hurt by this situation. Imagine how you would act were the roles reversed? I can tell you wouldn't be part of that because you are a good person. They aren't worth your time and are also no indicator of your self worth. Please be civil to them but don't let them rattle you. Hugs coming your way.
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| Ag33
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#9
Jun 12, 2017, 04:19 AM
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Quote:
Thank you Jennifer. That helps a lot xox |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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