[amazinglyso]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years or so and met in the same building of flats where we live now. His family were not genuinely interested in me, only in their own lives and keeping brother entertained by what they were doing themselves - weddings, relationships, day trips out - all of the very things me and my boyfriend not in a financial position to boast or participate.

They immediately saw me as a threat from the beginning because I was new to them and made no real effort to get to know me. Instead, my boyfriend was the one to try and include me in his family, and this was good until he asked for control of His own benefits money (He made excuses to gain access to it - often telling them it was me who asked for it, even though this wasn't the case at all, yet he later told them the truth it was for him only). Then his dad said some nasty things to him when he asked for a small loan until he got his money through.

His family then decided to cut contact with us both because of the pressures he placed upon them to have more independence from them - he was a 43 year old man at the time. Now they are back in contact again after 4 years of no contact and want him to be a great uncle to his niece's baby. I do not trust their integrity and although kind of ecstatic my boyfriend has a great nephew, also feel threatened too by it.

Me and my partner don't have children of our own and always had small pets instead, yet all of which have died over the course of 5 years. His family did not care nor bother about them, despite these little things being so very important to us both. I don't have family - abused in childhood and siblings and me separated and mother stayed with abuser.

I still feel trauma of the past despite years of counselling - my abuse spanned entire childhood years and witnessed other siblings abused too. Have done amazing things with my life as an adult and very cultured as an individual. Just don't have room or time for people who eat up precious space and why not happy with boyfriend's family (especially as we both agreed that they were such a negative influence on our relationship and him as a whole. How do I deal with this and what is it they are wanting from us - he is with a long term girlfriend (me) - doesn't arrive alone in their wanting exclusive access to him.

[Sunflower123]

I would encourage you to limit exposure to these toxic people. It's a fact that you are with your boyfriend and have been long term. If they can't welcome and accept you, then don't put yourself through that. Only show up for formal occasions. Best wishes.

[eskielover]

I would let him do his thing with his family & new baby in the family but keep my distance at this point. If anything has really changed....great....let him feel it out. He has a right to be around his family, hopefully he will initially do that in a guarded way to make sure it's ok even for him personally. Let him see how it goes. Family never HAS TO ACCEPT the S/O....though its always nice to be accepted its not necessary..some families are just that way.

Focus on your relationship with him. I doubt that anything will change with that just because he sees his parents again....but keep an eye out just in case....he has a right to see his family if that is what he wants.

See what the future holds.