[HD7970GHZ]

Hi,

Trigger warning!

I am trying to shut the door on a girl I have been dating for about 3 weeks. She is triggering me beyond belief and now I am convinced I can no longer stay in contact with her.

I have made attempts to end things nicely; telling her that I am not ready for a romantic relationship. I set MANY boundaries and she keeps pressing them! For example: when I repeatedly told her I needed to be alone, she kept prolonging the conversation by saying, "kiss me and if you don't have feelings I will go..." I declined her SIX times in a row, I actually had to step away because it was SO uncomfortable. She is being extremely inappropriate with texting and pressuring for sex and I have repeatedly said I am NOT ready for that. I have told her many times I need things to go slower and that I need space to recharge; which she does not respect. She is constantly wanting to meet in person but I keep saying I am busy. I am getting worried and impatient with her and I am ready to block her phone number. I am seeing all kinds of red flags including mind games, manipulation and agendas. She is extremely dishonest. I told her about my insecurities and triggers and she is absolutely using it to her advantage and sucking me back in... If I wasn't healthier I would fall for it very quickly, but I am recognizing all the red flags early on. Now that I am resisting her she is still sending text after text and calling. I am only responding to some of them and I avoid picking up the phone.

I want to end things. She is not getting the hint and I am genuinely concerned that she may breach into stalker territory.

What do I do?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I would block her completely and move on. If she tries making contact in real life after you've ended things, get the police involved. I am sorry that you are going through this, it sounds like a nightmare.

[divine1966]

Don't respond and block her. I've met guys like that. Cutting contact avd blocking is the only way

[Bill3]

Permanently block her.

[Sunflower123]

Good luck blocking her and moving on.

[Trippin2.0]

Stop hinting.

Tell her its over... clearly, then block and delete.

[Erebos]

It's simple. Don't answer ANY calls, texts, emails.
BLOCK HER, from all phone and social media contact. ALL of it.
Change your number if needs be.
She can't trigger you if she can't talk to you.
You have the control over this, your choosing not to apply it, Why?
Just get it done.
Stay safe.

Don't reply.

If she persists contact the police.

[HD7970GHZ]

Thank you everyone.

This was a really challenging situation to be in. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and I was pushing and pulling her... Keeping her in a relationship would only hurt her and so I felt compelled to end it for both of us. She had her own issues and we were bringing out the worst in each other.

I ended up sending a text saying we should cease communication because I am worried that continuing to communicate may be unfair to her and I in that we could confuse a potential friendship with being romantic... Prior to this, I tried to set the boundary to be friends, but she was still talking about sex and making comments that I felt were inappropriate. (And I cannot really expect anything different) I said I wish you well and hope you find someone who can offer you what you need, then I blocked her phone number.

I feel a lot of shame and guilt and regret for doing this, part of me thinks I shut the door on a potentially great friendship... I abandoned her before she abandoned me and I feel so ashamed. I hope she is okay.

I feel like a wreck

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[Trippin2.0]

Also, next time don't be in such a hurry to bare your soul to a stranger who can use it against you.

3 weeks is really nothing, and I personally find it quite disturbing that she's only known you for a few days yet she knows exactly how to push all your buttons and cause you this much distress.

You basically provided her with ammo with which to torture and manipulate you.

Pace yourself while getting to know someone, just like its a good idea to take the sexual side of things slowly, it's also good to take the emotional side slowly. You need to know the person is (trust)worthy of whatever you're sharing...

[HD7970GHZ]

Hi Trippin2.0,

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Also, next time don't be in such a hurry to bare your soul to a stranger who can use it against you.

3 weeks is really nothing, and I personally find it quite disturbing that she's only known you for a few days yet she knows exactly how to push all your buttons and cause you this much distress.

You basically provided her with ammo with which to torture and manipulate you.

Pace yourself while getting to know someone, just like its a good idea to take the sexual side of things slowly, it's also good to take the emotional side slowly. You need to know the person is (trust)worthy of whatever you're sharing...

Thank you for writing this! This is indeed something I need to learn and I appreciate you sharing this insight! In retrospect, I can blame a lot of this on my lack of emotional boundaries; certainly my fault. I would like to think she genuinely cared whenever she brought up my personal issues or pulled on my triggers, but part of me also thinks she was using them in order to manipulate me and get what she wanted...

It's funny, I recognized that she was sharing WAY too much too soon and so I told her this after the first day we met. She acknowledged it. Strangely it set the tone for me to feel safe in sharing my own baggage, so I did after the second date... When I asked her why she was sharing so much she made a joke and said she was sharing so much of her own stuff because she wanted me to share too... Perhaps this was her way to get into my personal matters and see if I am someone she can date long term.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz