[rdgrad15]

Does anyone else no longer believe in friends forever? Anyone think no friendship really lasts a lifetime? When I was little, I used to think this was possible, but now I no longer do. People just don't seem that committed to friendships. Either they just don't like the person after awhile anymore, they were fake and were not really good friends to begin with, there was a falling out, or they just simply drift apart. Has anyone ever have a friendship last a lifetime? I feel like that all friendships are bound to end at some point. The only difference is that some will end on good terms, which is not painful at all, while others end poorly and bring pain among one or both people involved. What is your opinion on this? Just curious.

[junkDNA]

Nothing is forever

[Angelique67]

My life long friend passed away when we were 33. My friend's definition of forever was until he passed away. Although I still talk to him and laugh at our jokes, etc.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Nothing is forever

I agree. Nowadays when I hear someone say they will be friends, or even best friends, with someone forever, I think nope, not going to happen. They may be friends for a long time, even years, but not forever. The only thing I hope for nowadays with friendships is for them to end on good terms and where if I ever saw the person in the future, it wouldn't be awkward and would actually be cool to see them again.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

My life long friend passed away when we were 33. My friend's definition of forever was until he passed away. Although I still talk to him and laugh at our jokes, etc.

Aww I'm sorry about what happened to your friend. I'm glad you are still able to remember him and laugh at the jokes you had together.

[Sunflower123]

I'd say that may be true of most friendships but there are exceptions. My 82 year old mom just got back from visiting a good friend of hers that she became friends with in middle school. That's a long time. She has other long, long time friendships as well. A friend of mine who is in her late 50s has thanksgiving each year with a friend from kindergarten. That's a long time.

[moonglade]

yeah yeah.... =)
Friends forever?

[Angelique67]

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Aww I'm sorry about what happened to your friend. I'm glad you are still able to remember him and laugh at the jokes you had together.

It took a lot of decades until I could, without crying my eyes out. My friend is like no one else on earth. I believe I'll see him again after my earth life.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Angelique67

It took a lot of decades until I could, without crying my eyes out. My friend is like no one else on earth. I believe I'll see him again after my earth life.

I bet and yeah I believe you will see him again.

I've never believed in friends forever. The first good friend I had (maybe even my first friend EVER) I met in second grade. Then she moved at the end of the year. I don't recall having any more friends in grade school. There were kids I played with a recess and maybe I thought they were friends at the time, but I hardly remember them. By sixth grade, I spent recess alone until a teacher forced others to include me.

My mind boggles at people still being friends with the people they went to high school or college with. The only friend I kept past any graduations (or changes in life circumstances really) was one that I would have considered a best friend. It ended because of her reaction to me coming out to her. I don't recall ever thinking it would last forever.

With another best friend in college, we never spoke again after she graduated. Not surprised. I'm about 99% I crossed a line somewhere and that was the nicest way to get rid of me.

Since then, I don't make friends. I don't see any point. I know I'm eventually going to leave where I am or they're going to leave. I bet I couldn't sustain a friendship over a year and at that point it isn't worth the effort.

[Misssy2]

Originally Posted by rdgrad15

Does anyone else no longer believe in friends forever? Anyone think no friendship really lasts a lifetime? When I was little, I used to think this was possible, but now I no longer do. People just don't seem that committed to friendships. Either they just don't like the person after awhile anymore, they were fake and were not really good friends to begin with, there was a falling out, or they just simply drift apart. Has anyone ever have a friendship last a lifetime? I feel like that all friendships are bound to end at some point. The only difference is that some will end on good terms, which is not painful at all, while others end poorly and bring pain among one or both people involved. What is your opinion on this? Just curious.

My opinion on this...is the intent is there when we say "friends forever"...but life changes..people move, get married, get jobs, have kids...anyone I ever said "friends forever" to...we ended up parted in one of those ways...

The only real friend i have had forever "22 years"...seems like forever..is my X husband..the person that knows me the best....but we have no choice because we have children together..and I guess if I think about it..we are really not "friendly" all the time...more of the opposite of friendly most of the time....but the longest I have kept in contact with anyone has been him...

Even some of my family members do not know me or haven't been in my life as long as he has.

It seems that since you started this post..you have recently lost a friend...one way or another..and it sucks when that happens...I did lose one friend because the way my kids were treating me so badly was impacting HER health...and that sucked...its always good to know the reason why something ended.

I hope you find peace with whatever is going on with you.

[BrokeTech]

People don't all define "friendship" the same.

In order for me to consider someone a friend, we have to at least communicate on a regular basis and provide each other with mental/emotional support. To me, this is the type of thing that doesn't last forever, if it ever actually existed in the first place. The majority of people get married and/or have kids, or someone moves away, and you just aren't that priority to them that you once were. You'll barely speak, and if that's the case then the mental/emotional support is also not really happening because things happen to you more than once every 6 months or however often you two talk and "catch up."

I've never believed in friends forever. I grew up with a bunch of fake friends that I now know were bullies because that's how they're labeled nowadays (female bullies differ from male bullies in that a lot of them pretend to be your friend), and I also grew up with a mother who constantly told me "there's no such thing as a friend." By my definition of a friend and friendship, I've had at most four real friendships throughout my life...and only one of those lasted for more than a few years, and that's the one out of all 4 that I'm debating most about did I get enough support from that person to even say she meets my definition.

I bring up how people define "friends"/"friendship" because so many people use those terms loosely. And if you're just easily handing out the "friend" label, then you shouldn't be surprised when those "friendships" don't last.

[Raindropvampire]

I think it's possible. I'm 41 and have known my best friends since I was 6. Even though we've moved to different states we still make time to visit. We talk all the time. My friend K passed away earlier this year but we talked everyday until her passing. So 35 years and my two surviving best friends are still going strong. I just don't see it changing but who knows.

I don't know. In my experience friendships come and go but I have seen very old people who have lifetime friendships so it can happen. I think it must be nice to have friendships which endure that long.

I think people usually get bored with me.

[healingme4me]

I guess it does depend on your definition? Or expectations? 2 of my closest friends I've known for decades. My mom always had close friends throughout her life, as does my grandmother. These friends cannot be expected to replace the level of day to day of a spouse, but the click of a button(email) or the dialing of the phone, they are there. Mine, the issue is distance, but they are still my friends. The types of friends where we are quasi part of one another's families. Friends with parents and siblings.