There was a time I struck up a friendship with an older woman. I'm a young woman, but at the time I was in a new area and lonely, and appreciated how nice she was and how I enjoyed her company. I'd usually go over and stay for the day, or her and her husband would take me to some place. I think the relationship played out similarly to an aunt and niece, when I think about it. She was obviously more mature and in a different place in life, and was honestly more like a mentor than a friend, but it became obvious she cared about me a lot over time, saying I was like family.

I did care about her too, but she didn't feel like family to me, sadly. I did feel a little uncomfortable with our friendship, and it did seem like she didn't want her other friends to know they were hanging around with this young woman, and I could completely understand why. I know how that would go.

Either way, the friendship continued, but over time she started to become more harsh towards me for some reason. Out of nowhere, she started to be more judgemental and compare me to how hard working she was when she was around my age. It took me a long time, but eventually I realized that the friendship was starting to bring me down at that point.

This was coinciding around the time that I was about to move, and at that point we hadn't been talking or seeing each other nearly as much.

So, when I moved, we maybe shared a couple of emails and texts, but that was it. It's been many months now, and we haven't talked.

I don't hold any anger or anything at all negative towards her. I just felt like I needed to move on. However, I feel very guilty for cutting her out like that. To be fair, her last message included a promise to get back to me, so I suppose the whole thing might've been felt by both sides.

However, even if it wasn't, I'm not sure if I should feel guilty for letting the relationship go or not. Did I do anything wrong by cutting her out like that? Would the right thing be to get back in contact with her? Especially after all the times in the past she helped me out?

What if she wants to get in contact with me again? I'm worried as to what I should do. I don't want to because I'm worried the relationship is toxic for us. Would I just have to ignore her? Wouldn't that be rude and hurtful?

Either way, I've felt some worry over it the months we've stopped talking, like I've done something wrong.

[Sunflower123]

You haven't done anything wrong. It sounds like the friendship played out and it's time for you to walk away. I'd say from what you mentioned, she felt the same way. If she contacts you, you can decide what to do. You had a friendship at a time you really needed it and it's run the course. That's fine. I hope you make new friendships in your new place. Good luck and best wishes.

[Travelinglady]

Hey, sweetie. I read somewhere that most friendships last about three years. We have very few friends we keep for life.

I'm in the same boat with you with a friend. She doesn't contact me now that her husband has retired. But I am moving away and look forward to making new friends.

Okay?

Thanks so much.

[ReddSkyes]

I went through something like this with a friend. Except, I was the one that had done the helping. Yes we both learned from each other. I saw him through some very difficult times. And he started being harsh. It eventually became worse every time. I cut him off because I'd had enough. I felt terrible. Cried about it, too. In time, he validated the reasons why I had to let the friendship go.

I don't think you should feel guilty. If she contacts you, you can respond to say hi, and briefly state what's new. You say you've moved, so, no need to get together, right?

Or you could ignore it too. Either way, hope you feel better about this.