[samj40]

Due to... A lot of bad experiences, there's entire groups of people that I refuse to get personal with. I confided this to a friend and they acted like I was the worst person in the world, because all these bad experiences have left me with boundaries.

For example...

I refuse to get too close with morbidly obese people again. Now before anyone jumps down my throat, I AM a morbidly obese person. Granted, I've had weight loss surgery and I'm incredibly active; I'm constantly counting my macros and putting in 4-5 days a week at the gym. I'm trying to do right for myself and my health, so I've learned to prioritise myself for once in my life.

Now all the morbidly obese people I know are lazy, unmotivated and obnoxious. Like I hate to make that link, but it's true. They constantly act jealous of my weight loss without helping themselves, they never have any motivation to even come for a lazy stroll with me, they're constantly sabotaging me by trying to get me to eat high calorie foods. None of my thinner friends do this, in fact, they're the ones that are actually proud of me.

There's... A few other groups of people I avoid, too. Like I'm queer, so I don't tolerate homophobes. I've been sexually assaulted by almost every straight man I know, so I'm super cautious around straight men. Etc, etc.

Basically, I've had more than enough negative experiences with certain people that I no longer want to associate with anyone else like them. I know I shouldn't be stereotyping, but honestly, crappy things have happened so often that I can't help but do so.

Am I wrong for trying to protect myself this way?

No. If you love yourself and your choices yet others go against them, there's no reason to continue building relationships with them.

[Sunflower123]

I don't think you're wrong for trying to protect yourself. It seems like stereotyping is throwing the baby out with the bath water so to speak. You may miss out on some real diamonds in the rough. Best wishes.

[BrokeTech]

That's a tough right/wrong question, especially since I think it's human nature to respond the way you're responding. But just because something is human nature doesn't make it right.

I do the same thing, to the extent that I can, with various groups. I'm actually a lesbian, but I don't generally fool with other gays and lesbians because my experience is they expect you to be stereotypical and it's hard to fit in or be accepted if you're not. A lot of LGBT spaces/environments are also just too culturally white for me, personally, and I'm not white. So, that's more awkwardness and not fitting in on top of not being stereotypical enough. That's just one example--there are many others.

Trying to lose weight and eat better is hard when you're around other big people who don't have that same mindset because they're still doing things you're trying not to do and they don't really respect what you're trying to do enough to not tempt you. And I'm not saying they should change; it's all their choice. And I never give thin people a pass or act like they're more accepting, because the truth is that before you started on this path they were probably judging you similarly to how you're judging the overweight people you're talking about, and will continue to judge your weight and discipline to some degree until you finally meet their standards. They just are not sharing these judgments with you.

So, that's one thing to understand about this--thin people suck just as much as overweight people, just in a different way. And that's really how I look at people--we're all azzes, just some of us are similarly based on what groups we belong to whereas others are a different type of azz depending on what group(s) they belong to. I guess this is at least partially why I don't trust people and don't really have any friends. But I'm good with that.

I guess my point is it's just people, not only specific groups of people.

There's nothing wrong with avoiding groups of people; especially if the groups of people that you're trying to avoid are becoming a threat to your well being or happiness.

Many people that succeed in life will tell you to associate with other people who are like you want to be and avoid people who have the potential to drag you down.

For example, if you are trying to succeed in running a business, surround yourself with top performers that want to succeed and avoid people who complain about being poor but are poor due to their own choices; if you are trying to be an athlete or get in shape, surround yourself with other athletes who will push you to do better and avoid people who would become a negative influence on your fitness goals; if you are trying to improve your mental health, surround yourself with people who are seeking to improve themselves any way they can and are trying to be positive and avoid those who play the victims or pity parties, drink, do drugs or whatever else.

See my point?

So no, there is nothing wrong with being this way. In fact, you are doing things the right way.

I would say that no you are not wrong, and it makes sense that you do this. It's probably healthy. Unless you think it's wrong yourself. But it sounds like you are protecting yourself and setting / maintaining boundaries.