[chipperdear]

I have no friends outside of work acquaintances, and am mostly estranged from my family (I am in contact with an aunt and a cousin). I met with an old friend once about a year ago, but other than that, haven't been out socially with anyone other than my boyfriend for 5 years.

So my boyfriend and I were on our way to the grocery store and I saw an advertisement for truck driving training. I casually mentioned that I think it would be interesting but I would get way too lonely doing something like that. His response was along the lines of "I find that hard to believe, you don't seem like a lonely person."

I've felt fairly invisible for most of my life, but I just felt so ...empty? I'm not even sure how to describe the feeling. Almost defeated, irrelevant...

I didn't really respond and changed the subject instead because I just didn't know what to say.

Did he mean that you don't seem to care about being lonely? Because regardless of how many people are in your life now, driving a truck IS lonely. For anyone. I'm kind of confused about what he meant.

I would suggest talking to him about it, asking him to elaborate, and letting him know how you truly feel. I've had to explain that although I'm an introvert, I become very attached to the people who I do have in my life and that I'm terrified of losing them. I'm not saying that's the case with you, but you have to explain how you feel or else people can only guess.

[fuzzyowleyez]

I'm sorry you feel that way chip. Have you expressed to your SO how cut off from the world you feel? Maybe, for whatever reason, your SO just really doesn't know how isolated you feel. Also, have you been able to find at least some of the support you need on these forums?

[chipperdear]

I'm not really sure how to put it into words I guess. I don't want him to feel responsible for my social life, because he shouldn't be.

What does it mean to "be supported" emotionally or whatnot? I know what the words mean, but in a practical sense, how do you experience it, or know you experience it?

[fuzzyowleyez]

I think you know you're being emotionally supported when someone actively listens to your problems and seeks to comfort you when you are going through a rough patch. Someone who you feel comfortable telling about your emotional health who also seeks to give you guidance if asked, someone who knows your triggers and actively works to help you recover from or avoid being triggered all together. For example, I have a close friend who I know I can cry with, someone who i am honest with about my emotional/mental state who has told me I can I can crash on their couch when I'm extra lonely and need to be around people. Sure I feel needy when I rely on them but I also know i won't do anything I regret when I'm with them.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry your boyfriend hit a nerve. Talk to him and ask for clarification and correct him where he's incorrect in his assumptions. Sending big hugs.

[BrokeTech]

It comes off to me as he meant that you don't seem to get lonely or to mind being "lonely," which a lot of people use "lonely" as interchangeable with "alone" even though they don't mean the same thing.

I highly suspect you two are on very different pages about this and that if/when you bring it up to him he'd be surprised about how you took it. Basically, I think he didn't mean it the way you're taking it at all, but only he can tell you that or clarify.

Were you hurt because he didn't see your loneliness and you felt he should? (((Hugs)))

[chipperdear]

He's not the type of guy to intentionally be a jerk or anything, and he's not very good with words. I don't believe he meant it the way I took it, it's just where my mind went with it.