I am so insecure and needy I hate myself

Hi! I am new here, but not new to having mental issues. My whole life I have been insecure, and base my self worth on other peoples opinions on my looks and personality. I have struggled with eating disorders for around 7 years - I have accepted this now and don't try seek help for it. I also deliberately hurt myself when I am not in control of a situation.

My main issue at the moment is insecurity. I have an irrational fear of my partner cheating on me, despite the fact he is honest and never has any secrets, and never goes out without me apart from work. My partner told me the other day, that I am suffocating him, it was heartbreaking for me. Also a wake up call, this to me means he doesn't want to be with me or spend time with me anymore, and he said it just before he had to work away for a couple of nights, so my fears of him cheating are heightened. I even have an obsession about him watching porn whilst he is staying away, something he says he does not do, but then I assume he is a liar because all men do. I also have an obsession with his ex, whom I haven't ever met, who he has no contact with, who lives several counties away. I hate being so dependent on reassurance to get me through life each day. It is exhausting and I am very lucky, yet baffled why my partner is even with me still.

We have a 2 year old daughter, and we are getting married next month. I am seeing a therapist for the first time for these particular insecurity issues, next week... but I have to change I need help and I need to know there are other people who understand this feeling of complete and utter insecurity.

Hello insecureobsessed, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.

I think it's great that you are seeking help for your issues, because over time insecurity and reassurance-seeking can definitely affect the other partner and push them further away. I cannot personally relate, but I imagine there are some members here who can provide some input. I wish you all the best.

Welcome to PC

Hello. Welcome to PC. I can fully relate to your feelings of insecurity. You're not alone. I'm glad you are seeing a therapist (I am as well) because it's a painful way to live. I hope your therapy appointment goes well and that you make progress dealing with your insecurities. Sending big hugs.

Thanks for your kind responses and useful information, I really hope to find people to speak with on common ground!