[Eleny]

I broke up with my boyfriend and although I'm happy it's over it's the first time I've been alone since I was a teenager as I've always been in relationships. Now I feel constantly empty and sad and pretty worthless. It's made me realise that I don't have much of a sense at all of who I am and it's painful. I've been chatting to guys here and there since and I feel a boost of happiness once I have their attention but if I'm left alone I feel empty. I am really struggling. I'm not sure what to do, can anyone advise me? Maybe someone understands this feeling?

[Maven]

You need time to get to know you. This isn't the time for a new relationship. I don't mean this in a man-hating way, but you don't need a romantic relationship to be complete or happy. Take time, find hobbies and interests you haven't had time for, or find new ones. If you're an animal lover, volunteer for a shelter or rescue. Go on a trip or vacation, if you can afford it. Maybe go to college. Look on Meetup.com for a group that might interest you, or elsewhere for groups of interest. This is the time to find out who you are. If you jump into a new relationship, you'll find yourself in the same position later, only you'll be older. It gets harder when you're older. Look at all the opportunities you have now.

No advise....I just want to let you know I'm sorry for how you are currently feeling and I hope you find a way to get to know and appreciate yourself. The above poster has some good suggestions. Good luck and take care.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to find or rediscover yourself in a way you might not have been able to do in a relationship. Approach it from that angle. I do know how that feels. I've had a change of status and even though I knew it was coming, it's been really hard. Hang in there. Sending big hugs.

[MickeyCheeky]

Sorry you're feeling this way. It's understandable. Don't rush for a new relationship.. instead, try to take some time for yourself.

[eskielover]

Take time to find out who you are & what you are in relation to you, yourself. We lose ourself when our identity is based on who & what we are when it's only in response to someone else in our life.

I got married while in college & still living at home with my parents. I never had a chance to ever figure out who I was without it being affected by those I was living around. Yes, I was very independent & I was determined to get my accounting & computer science degree & enjoy performing my flute in chamber groups & I enjoyed backpacking & horses & my dogs.....BUT.......

All my living around connections were so dysfunctional that I didn't even notice being knee deep in the mire that they all created. It had become normal.

So when I walked out of my marriage after 33 years & moved 2100 miles away to where I didn't know anyone, I had the perfect chance to get to know me. Get involved in things I had never done before. The stress before had been so great I had no idea how much it affected my retention of information & my ability to get in wonderful discussions. One of the first awesome feelings was going to the grocery store & buying food that only I liked & filling my cupboards with things only I liked. I have learned more about me in the last 10 years. I also learned how dysfunctional I had grown living around dysfunctional people for 54 years of my life. I had a lot of learning to do & still am.

I had never lived alone in my 54 years of life but honestly I have grown to love it. You never know what you will learn about yourself until you give it a good chance & how much personal growth happens when living alone.

It's definitely important before ever getting into a relationship so that you know what compromises you are willing to make & what boundaries are important.

It the right man ever comes along I might be interested but then again, I might not & I am happy no matter what my future holds