[Shadix]

Long story short, I have noticed over time that several of the people who work at the gym seem to act quite unfriendly and rude whenever I interact with them. The first two I noticed were girls whom I found attractive. I never flirted with them or even tried to make conversation or show interest, so it was kind of baffling, but I thought ok maybe I unconsciously act like I am interested and they feel the need to be rude to me so I won't come onto them? But then I noticed it happening with another lady whom I did not really find attractive at all. Then I noticed it happening with a guy. I don't want to go into details, but it really seems like it is something personal. I noticed it happening pretty consistently and given that it is pretty much their job to be nice, I can't imagine this is just how they treat everyone. Of course I can't be 100% sure. However it is causing me anxiety. I keep thinking what if there is something I did inadvertently or some idea that is going around about me for some reason and that is what is causing their behavior? Does this sound like something that should be a cause for concern?

[divine1966]

Have you asked your therapist?

My husband often thinks somebody is rude or looks at him funny and it's never the case (sometimes it might be true, his Tourette's makes people annoyed unfortunately). But usually it's in his head, his OCD.

How exactly they are rude? And how much they interact with you? I am at our gym quite often. I live next door to a big gym so I am there very often. I don't interact with workers at all. Just initial hello and I scan my card, that's it. I don't even interact with class instructors when I join a class. I might just greet them. And I am very social. My husband has personal trainer at our gym so he interacts with the guy but not other workers.

So I am wondering how do you even see these workers during your work out routine? When you come in and scan your card, what happens next? Like in my case after that I am in no proximity to people who work there.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you are having this problem. Divine may have a good point. Sending big hugs.

[eskielover]

Sometimes it's our own self consciousness that causes us to feel that way when nothing is actually happening.

Other times it might just be our body language that we are totally unaware of like a subconscious hesitation here or there hoping they will connect with us even though we might be totally unaware of that behavior & when they don't connect, that subconscious desire makes us feel they are rude when in reality they didn't even notice.

If you have tried to connect before & had issues with people, sometimes people will try to avoid that to avoid getting involved in a possible drama situation.

Honestly without being there & assessing the situation through IRL observation, it's basically impossible for online people to answer your questions.

[Shadix]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Have you asked your therapist?

My husband often thinks somebody is rude or looks at him funny and it's never the case (sometimes it might be true, his Tourette's makes people annoyed unfortunately). But usually it's in his head, his OCD.

How exactly they are rude? And how much they interact with you? I am at our gym quite often. I live next door to a big gym so I am there very often. I don't interact with workers at all. Just initial hello and I scan my card, that's it. I don't even interact with class instructors when I join a class. I might just greet them. And I am very social. My husband has personal trainer at our gym so he interacts with the guy but not other workers.

So I am wondering how do you even see these workers during your work out routine? When you come in and scan your card, what happens next? Like in my case after that I am in no proximity to people who work there.

Ok, number 1 was the really cute girl, probably in her early 20s or so who worked at the front desk and I used to see her once in a blue moon and then I stopped seeing her for a while then recently I saw her a couple times again. The first couple times I saw her she was friendly and I recall her even being extra friendly one time to the point where I wondered if she likes me or something. But then she started being unfriendly and it was pretty consistent, like every time I would see her. I would only see her at the front desk and then when I am leaving, that is it. Because I found her cute, I started to think maybe she picked up on it even though I never tried to show it. And I have thought about if it might be an age issue: she swipes my card and probably knows my age, so perhaps she thinks she is too young for me to be into?

Number 2 was a girl, probably mid to late 20s who worked in membership sales. The first time I saw her I was with my brother and we inquired about getting him a trial and she gave us the info about membership costs, etc. She was perfectly normal and friendly that time. Then I remember passing by her in the lobby area one time after that and she smiled and greeted me with a "hello!" It was one of those times where I was caught off guard so I either didn't respond or my response was so limited that it appeared unfriendly. After that I would see her sometimes but she never greeted me like that again. I do remember that a couple times when I would pass by her office on the way out I would find myself just instinctively glancing in there and I remember one time specifically she looked up and made eye contact with me, and look annoyed or irritated. Then after that I remember a time where I had to take care of something regarding my membership and she was the one helping me. I don't remember exactly how the exchange went, but I recall her being REALLY unfriendly. This one I have wondered if she could have taken it seriously when I didn't really respond in kind to her greeting, but would she really hold a grudge over just that?

Number 3 was this lady, probably around 40, who also works at the front desk, this one I have seen more often than the other one and still see her now. I recall from the beginning whenever I would see her she would have an annoyed expression on her face and not make eye contact with me when she swipes my card. This was usually the case, but then there were times when she greeted me politely, so I assumed she was just in a bad mood sometimes. Then I one time I attended an event that another girl who works there who befriended me invited me to and this lady was there. We spoke briefly and I introduced myself pointing out that I see her all the time but we never formally met. She responded normally, didn't show any signs of having a problem with me. After that she was actually friendly a couple of the times I interacted with her at the front desk. But then last time I went, it was completely different, and the way she acted it's hard to believe there is nothing wrong. First when I walked in I noticed her making friendly chit chat with a little girl with the people in front of me. Then I gave her my card and said "hi". She looked directly at me coldly and said nothing. Then on the way out, she was standing there facing the other direction and I glanced at her as she turned around and we made eye contact. She did not even look away or anything, she looked directly at me coldly and said nothing as I instinctively mouthed "have a good one."

Number 4 is a guy, probably late 20s or early 30s, who works in membership sales. I met him at the event I mentioned that I was invited to. We introduced ourselves and spoke and everything. But then whenever I would pass by him at he gym, he would not even acknowledge me. The couple times when I have said hi, he would give a very unfriendly unenthusiastic "hey." I find this odd mainly because he appears to be really friendly with people there in general.

So that's a basic rundown of the situation with each of them.

[divine1966]

I actually was in my gym today and thought about you. I wanted to keep track of who I see and what's the interaction.

I said "hello" to the front desk guy and swiped my card. He said "have a good workout".

After that I had headphones on and I was not in any proximity to anyone who works there the entire duration of my time there. I did see two membership people but they sat at their desks and I was no where near them. Then I did see my husband's personal trainer from a far. I say hello when I am close by as he knows I am the wife, but he was on the other side of the gym. I didn't see any other workers at all and no one was close by me and it's a big busy gym.

You must be in a different type of gym. I don't know what's the deal is.