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#1
Sep 08, 2017, 01:04 PM
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Ive been in a relationship for over 25 years..the last 10 of them there has been no love etc...ive been in a very dark place and am having an affair...ive told him how i feel hes said hed change but it only lasted a week...should i end the affair and stay in my relationship for the sake of the kids or should i think about my happiness
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 MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
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#2
Sep 08, 2017, 11:06 PM
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Hi, cb1972, and welcome to Psych Central! I'm wondering if you have told him you are having an affair and will leave him if he doesn't change. If you do that and he doesn't change/agree to counseling, then you might consider separation, anyway. How old are your children?
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#3
Sep 08, 2017, 11:14 PM
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Ahh, I saw the other post, before seeing this one. Well, the it depends answer still stands. Are you trading one set of issues for another?
I've seen this play out before, in my life with an age old friend. Some years down the road with the 'happiness' pursuit, I've seen changes from what used to be boredom to little anger outbursts that are so not like her. My verdict is not yet in on the topic.. |
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#4
Sep 09, 2017, 02:08 AM
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Ok, you need to split everything up. First off, you need to leave your relationship of 25 yrs, not because of another person involved but in deciding what is right for you. Don't get the two mixed up. Being with another person needs to be because you truly want to be with that person, not because you need to get away from the other one. See?
The other thing you need to look at.... staying for the sake of the kids... hmmm... are the kids going to be happy with an unhappy parent? They won't thank you for being in a miserable relationship, that is for sure. They won't thank you for leaving either, so bear that in mind too. Children need happy parents whether they are together or separated.
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 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
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#5
Sep 09, 2017, 03:11 AM
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If you're to the point that you're having an affair, I think you seriosuly need to re-think this relationship..
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#6
Sep 09, 2017, 08:10 AM
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Hello. Welcome to PC.
 I agree you need to evaluate these relationships you are having. Have you thought about seeing a therapist to process this and make a decision? I hope you make a decision that brings you peace and healing. Sending big hugs.
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