Advice to start up again once you get away from toxic family and friends

Hello,

I would like to have some advice, on how you start up again a new life, and new friends, new connections once you have decided to change and got rid of the people with whom things were complicated.
I have decided to cut some family members because I became aware of how they affected my well being. Those people just don't know about boundaries, respect and taking their responsibilities. They like to complain all the time and try to break you in your back because you don't think exactly like them.

After discovering this pattern in my family, I have seen it with me and how I allowed them to affect me (as I grew up in it), and into a lot of people that I considered as friend, therefore attracted into my life.

I have decided to change, therefore I cut ties with almost every body who didn't want to bother respecting my boundaries or with whom I felt that things went too far to keep any closeness.

At the beginning it was hard, now I accept it and try to live a better life.

What can I do to attract more quality people, with the same awareness as me. At least connect to new safe people.

I just have the impression that I have moved in a different place. What would you advise someone who is starting again from fresh?

First off, a HUGE kudos to you for making such a healthy and wise decision, AND for taking care of your own well being and mental health!!!!!! That is HUGE and an important step in your own growth. You will be far better off now and are moving in a great new direction. Hooray for you!!!! I am proud of you!

You can attract the right kinds of people by joining specific interest/activity groups, social meetups that match your interests and values, by taking an educational course or exercise class, by attending spiritual/church services or perhaps by joining groups that are available through the local church (if you are a spiritual type). You will still need to get to know people to test the waters with them and that takes time, but since you are well aware of boundary crossing issues, you are well on your way to healthier and improved relationship dynamics. One thing to remember is that toxic people are everywhere and no place is full proof of this, so you will still need to test the waters.

However, starting fresh in a new direction and meeting new, healthy-minded people is an exciting endeavor! Embrace this time, as it is a new YOU that you are forming, and according to how you want life to be. You're taking control of your life and your destiny. This is so great!!!! Keep us posted. ((((Big Hugs))))

Thank you so much Goldeneye for your encouragement. I thought I valued and loved myself before but I was completely unaware of my feelings. After it hurt so much, I have decided to take this path. I feel free and great.
Thank you very much for your advice. I am still healing and have lots to learn, and I feel I am on the right way.

Wish you a happy Sunday.

Big hugs too.

You're most welcome, and thanks for the hugs! Take care of YOU, always. So glad you feel happy and free.

Happy Sunday!

I agree with golden eve. Excellent advice. Good for you! Are you good at setting boundaries and being assertive? You may need those skills to weed out the toxic people from the others. Enjoy this new journey!

Thank you Golden eye, you are very welcome for the hugs.

Hi Jenifer, I am learning to set boundaries and to be more assertive as I become aware that most of my problems came from this. I grew up in a family who has no ideas of what it is? And as I went through a lot of traumas my self esteem as well took a toll. Apparently these things work hand in hand: self esteem= self acceptance and good boundaries.

I wasn't even aware how hard I was on myself, always trying to be nice and perfect, even to those who treated me bad. I thought if people rejected me or was acting poorly with me it's because I did something wrong or was responsible for them for being jealous or rude towards myself.

Thank god for this forum and the two of you.

Ps: if you know of any courses or quick fix to learn quickly about those things and do it all the time please do not hesitate to send me a message.

I don't have any advice. Just letting you know you are not alone.