[Have Faith]

Before i was diagnosed with BPll, anxiety panic disorder, Ptsd And a number of things. Life was idealistic and i decided to stay home and raise my family and we had so much fun! I would be continually hugging them and taking them to an outing almost daily.

Then we moved, i'm still homesick after 12 years. I started hiding in my room for three years letting hubby manage the house kids etc. I was on a high dose of aderall which made me completely manic so I would hide in my room, staying awake for days on the comp chat . I cannot remember any feelings of guilt. I wasn't there when my husband had cancer, I don't remember it much. I was feeling intense guilt when i opted to get off the adderall and klonopin. The next 21/2 years were agony. I couldn't go anywhere, do anything, just paralized. It was so painful I refused to be touched. I want to get involved with my kids but the pain is unbearable. I took my first dose of klonopin yesterday and already feel better!! Now I can see somewhat of a future, and shareing it with my family! Btw, I have 30 year old twins, one profoundly retarded and the other Aspergers. I want to help him so badly. He lives at home and i never see him out of his room. I feel most of it is my fault. Thanks for listening to my long story. I feel so traumatized by the last three years of pain people wonder what happend to my looks...

[Crazy Hitch]

It's amazing what the right meds as opposed to being on the wrong ones can do.

I feel like I lost 2/3 years on the wrong meds; and ultimately; the breakdown on my marriage.

I'm so grateful for stability. And the right combination of what I need to be on.

Here's hoping the klonopin lasts for you!