[ace333]

Ok admittedly this will be slightly long but I'm very interested in the responses. My grandmother is obsessed with first born boys in my family. It's driving us all crazy. So for prospective my male cousin was first born grandchild to her first born son, then came I from her youngest son, and my other female cousin,sister to the male. From the beginning me and my female cousin. Always noticed my grandmother extremely obsessed with her brother and her dad(myuncle). Extreme coddling. Both men are complete p.o.s. my cousin who is now thirty is even in jail for attempted murder and she continues to bring everything back to him in conversation. Throws money into his accounts claims he's perfect, nice,sweet and it was all his victims fault.....
However us females and even her two other sons have never be given any type of this affection. Why are we so special? She has always taken first born males sides in all things even again her other children and grandchildren. It's extremely weird and I want to know where this obsession comes from for her.
Even as far as now. My female cousin just had her first child...a boy...and my grandmother is obsessed. Trying to parent him over my cousin calling my cousin horrible things sayuing she can't care for him as good as she could. And when she had her second child...a girl...tells everyone they must acknowledge the boy first no matter what??????? She's literally insane

[Shazerac]

Parents and grand parents are so freaking weird in dysfunctional families. It just SUCKS!

My grandmother did a similar thing. In our family the first born is...selfish, sneaky, Troublemaker, etc. the second born is a poor little angel who can do no wrong and is always led astray by the first born. Lucky me, I'm the first born of 6 children.

She did this for 5 generations until she finally died.

[ace333]

Well I am actually the first born girl, but second born to the first boy...who tried to kill someone....i can't even get 5 bucks if I ask I get..." you will figure it out" and I just know if I tried to kill someone ...id just be rotting in jail with nothing and it'd be all my gault....but not him. And she just talks about him 24/7...like everyone in the family's life shouikd revolve around him?

[Shazerac]

Yep my grandmother's son was a loser and she idolized him never mind that he sexually abused the female children in the family

[ace333]

I don't get it. I just want to make her get a psych veal and then tell her along with me how insane she is

[Sunflower123]

I don't know what it is about first born sons. In my mom's fiancée's family, the entire inheritance went to the first born son and he was treated superior to other siblings. I'm sorry you are experiencing this. I'm guessing your grandmother is set in her ways though and won't change.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by ace333

I don't get it. I just want to make her get a psych veal and then tell her along with me how insane she is

I know you want that but it sounds like a life long pattern. Rather than a mental illness. I'm sure it's frustrating, but I seriously doubt you'll be able,to change your grandmother

[*Laurie*]

My grandmother liked girls, but didn't like boys - although she surprised the family by taking a liking to my son. Probably because he was quiet and had manners.

How old is your grandmother?

It's very unlikely that she's going to change her pattern of thinking at this stage in her life. My suggestion is that you enjoy her for her good attributes and ignore (really ignore) her goofy thinking. Don't perpetuate the sickness by ruminating over it.

[pegasus]

The male carries the surname and so some people value males more than females as being more worthy. The fact that females carry the baby and the fact that humans in general of both sexes are needed for human advancement can get forgotten in some cultures/beliefs. There won't be a way to change your grandmother's view unfortunately. It's a real shame she is so adamant on this but I wouldn't say that it is a mental illness. I'm sorry you have a family member like this.

Is your mother of a culture where this is the norm?

I ask because my children's great grandmother was. With the exception of my husband (treated as the golden one) all of her grandchildren and great grandchildren were girls - until my son came along. He is the only one to pass on the name and his father and his parents are now hastling him to settle down and have a son of his own. It is their culture.

Twelve grand and great grand daughters, all treated with indifference. And then the boy child arrived. I was bowled over with all the gifts. Up until her passing he was regularly sent money and gifts (how do I explain this to his sister).

By his birth my own status was elevated to top amongst the adults. It was awful.

My son is under a great deal of pressure to perform at everything he does as he of course must live up to expectations. It must be very hard for him.