[nikon]

hi there

This kind of feels like something I would ideally talk to my psychologist about but I get embarrassed really easily and don't want to talk about it out loud honestly.
My mom is in her 60s and she and my dad babysit my three year old nephew almost every weekday for a few hours at least. My mom is an obsessive person - her entire family is obsessive, and her children, including me, are obsessive - and recently she had surgery to have hemorrhoids removed and other related things, and this seems to have strengthened an existing obsession with literal ****.

I think I posted once before about her playing this weird game with my nephew where she was throwing a wet nappy onto a shelf and pushing it off repeatedly... I don't know if I'm just a prude but I have no idea why someone would want to make a game out of a wet nappy. She will have whole conversations with my nephew about ****, like picking up dog **** in the garden, which he now does all the time (which is sweet, but I'm kind of getting worried that he is getting really focused on ****), and she talks about going to the toilet all the time, and then sometimes she goes to the toilet all the time, like every 30 minutes. It just feels like many conversations get directed to talking about **** and toilets and related things. I've heard that older people get focused on this type of stuff but it's getting kind of disturbing. I'm feeling really uncomfortable going round there at the moment because it's bringing up really weird anxieties and I worry that this hyperfocus on **** and toilet habits is going to mess up my nephew.

I mean what I need to ask is: what is normal when it comes to talking about **** and toilet habits? (there are lots of things that I don't feel like I know what "normal" is) I feel like I can't ask my psychologist this because I have so much shame and embarrassment around these topics, which is probably why I find it so disturbing. I have struggled with sexual issues for a really long time and this type of obsession feels sickeningly like it could have been a trigger or something. I have no real idea.

[nikon]

lol, I didn't know that it was going to edit out the entire word.... I guess I need to embellish: she talks about poo, and toilet habits

[~Christina]

Is she willing to go see a Therapist?

Hi Nikon, can you ask your mother to quit it?!? That is not normal, to answer your question. I would worry that your nephew may model your mom's behavior (as children do) and become too obsessive around these topics and learn socially inappropriate behavior.

[Sunflower123]

I agree. Try asking her to stop and especially around your nephew. Maybe she doesn't realize how focused on this she is. Has your brother or sister (your nephew's parent) noticed this going on?

[pegasus]

Have you noticed any other changes in her memory or personality? Has she become more forgetful, does she know who her family are?

It could be many things, dehydration can cause a type of delirium, she could have a type of dementia developing or depression. Please don't be afraid to discuss this with a health professional. If there is something going on, then treatment can be started.

This is what I answered to your original thread on this. My answer remains the same. Please see if you can get Mom to a doctor. She may require some tests for the above.

[nikon]

Originally Posted by pegasus

This is what I answered to your original thread on this. My answer remains the same. Please see if you can get Mom to a doctor. She may require some tests for the above.

She doesn't seem any different in other ways at the moment, she knows who everyone is etc. Her eating has worsened - she has very disordered eating but everyone is in denial about it. Since her op that has sparked increased obsession I have suggested many times that she chat to the GP about her anxiety and depression around this but she thinks about it for a day and then decides not to go. Similarly, my psychiatrist suggested years ago that she see a therapist - at the time I thought it was because he thought she needed support with dealing with me, but maybe it was because he thought she had issues herself - and she went once, decided she didn't like it and didn't go again.

[nikon]

my sister and brother in law don't know how she is, I don't think. they mostly see her together with my nephew when they come to drop him off or pick him up. I end up spending time with them in between and have meals there sometimes. thanks for the advice everyone; I'll try to get myself to ask her to stop, or just say that i'm concerned about it to her.

[ptangptang]

That can't be healthy for both her and your nephew. I guess people get fixated and fetishised ( if that's a word) by all sorts of things and I guess what goes on between adults , if it doesn't frighten the horses, is ok but this is not normal and a child is involved. Get her some help.

[MickeyCheeky]

I agree with the others; try to talk to her, and, if possible, convince her to see a doctor (I know she already tried, but I think it might be the best solution). Hugs

[Shazerac]

That would gross me out. I agree with first of all asking her to cut it the hell out. If that doesn't work try getting her into therapy.