[samj40]

So I've been in an online LDR for the past 4 years, we've known each other for about 8 years, though. My partner lives, literally, on the opposite side of the world. We talk every day, we play online together when we have the time, etc.

But I feel like my depression and loneliness has pushed them away. We used to physically talk over Facetime or Skype just for the sake of talking, now we only ever talk over mic or phone when we're gaming. I get they're busy and have their own life to live, but it seems like they're really distant. They don't interact with me or my posts on social media, they don't seem overly interested in anything I send them via IM - I get a lot of one word responses or, worse, flat out IGNORED until I IM them again.

I've been really depressed lately because I can't get a job, I'm facing serious health issues and I literally have no local friends. Hell, I don't even have online friends any more. It's just... Me, 99% of the time. My partner doesn't provide much assurance that they care about me, either.

I just... Don't know. I care about them a lot. I really do. I get so upset at times because I can't be physically there with them, it physically hurts. But at the same time I just... Don't really feel cared about any more, I know there's red flags there. But I've pushed them away so much lately that what if mentioning my needs is the last straw?

I also feel guilty because they're with me, like, they could find a partner near them. In fact, I want them to have physical companionship. But I can't give it to them and I just feel so bad about it, you know? Also I feel with my depression and all the fun stuff going on in my life that they'd just be better off without me in their life, in general. But... Yeah, at the same time, I don't want to lose them or our relationship.

Everything hurts and everything is contradicting itself and I don't know what to do about any of it. Would it be fairer if I just said my piece and left?

[divine1966]

I am sorry for your health issues. I'd focus on your health and job search.

It doesn't sound like it's a relationship from What you described and I wouldn't particularly call him or her "partner". I am not sure why you are saying that they are "with you", it doesn't sound like that's the case. I certainly wouldn't feel guilty. They live their own life and so should you.

I recommend taking care of your own life and health and try to look for friends in your area. Are you seeing a therapist? Hang in there