[marvelousness]

I am still very in love with my ex boyfriend. It still feels like our breakup happened yesterday. I want him back so badly but he already has a new girlfriend/is seeing someone new.

We had been dating since November 12th 2016. We broke up on August 8th. But here's a bit of a back story. I had not actually seen him since June 28th because he was away sailing because he's a maritime cadet. We had some communication issues and both got upset with each other and I thought everything would be better when we could just see each other again. He texted me that he felt afraid because it was the longest relationship he'd ever been in. One of the reasons he broke up with me is because he felt afraid. He said he didn't want to marry the first woman he loved and have it not work out.Long story short, we broke up when he got home. He cried like a baby (I guess we both did) and said I was the most meaningful relationship he'd ever had. We didn't talk for about 3 weeks after that and I contacted him first. He asked me how I was doing and also gave me a few compliments, telling me to not worry about the new job I'm starting because I'm "smart, sweet, and beautiful". The conversation dwindled and he texted me again 2 weeks later to wish me "happy birthday". I haven't heard from him since and how I see that he has a new girlfriend.

I just don't know how to deal with this. He honestly made me feel as if he loved me so much that he could see himself marrying me. He was the first man I've ever loved and it just hurts so much to see him move on so quickly. This new girl seemed to come out of nowhere and I know I've never met her but judging by her pictures, she isn't someone he'd usually go for. But maybe she's super cool, who knows.

I went out for drinks with his roommate because we're still friends and I asked about him. He said that he feels guilty and that sometimes he feels he made the wrong choice, didn't tell me much more..

I know no one will have the answer for me, I was just looking for other's experiences with this kind of thing and maybe a few ways to get over him. I'm not attracted to anyone else and I feel so broken.

[Bill3]

I'm very sorry for the loss of your boyfriend.



My suggestion for getting over him is to go no contact. Block him, unfriend him, pay no attention to whether or not he is dating.

It hurts so much now. I'm sorry.

You will heal in time.

[Crazy Hitch]

No doubt it's a shock to the system that he's moved on so quickly. That was rather sudden.

I don't think he's ready for any kind of serious relationship and likely is in a very shallow relationship with his g/f.

He may have quite a few issues within himself to sort out otherwise he may find himself never settling down properly with anyone.

[Erebos]

I am so sorry for the loss of your relationship, I can't comment on his current relationship.

It does sound though that he wasn't sure that things were right for him .
It sounds like he had ALOT of doubts but rather than just tell you he tried very hard to say things he thought would hurt you less.
Instead of which he has left you more hurt and confused.

He sounds young and simply not ready to commit. Which he did say in a round about kind of way, when he said he didn't want to marry the first person he fell for.

I am guessing your both quite young, since it's seems to have been quite an intense relationship over a short amount of time.
This in no way lessens your pain or depth of feelings on the sincerity you felt about your relationship. It does help explain his perspective though.

Your only way to move on is to stop checking on in him and don't ask his friends and flatmates about things, it's not fair to put them in that situation.

It may well be that this is a rebound relationship, but that doesn't change anything for you. Nor does it guarantee he will come back.
I have had my fair share of rebound flings, they served a purpose, then I moved on.
Sometimes we just have to accept we won't get all the answers.

I wish you all the best and hope you are able to heal.

Originally Posted by Bill3

I'm very sorry for the loss of your boyfriend.



My suggestion for getting over him is to go no contact. Block him, unfriend him, pay no attention to whether or not he is dating.

It hurts so much now. I'm sorry.

You will heal in time.

This. I echo it.

[8Loop]

I can relate completely.
I went though a breakup in February of this year and it still feels fresh. We had been together for five years and were living together. We were very committed and loving to each other. The reason we broke up is valid but that doesn't diminish my love for him. He started dating someone a little less than two months after we separated, and it HURT. He seemed to be in a rebound relationship from what he told me, but it truthfully is none of my business how he chooses to live anymore. Missing him still hurts but I have come to terms with him moving on so fast. I came to terms that we all have our own way of dealing with things and although his choice hurt me, it wasn't about me. Personally I have decided to commit to loving myself rather than get into another relationship. When the pain of missing him is intense I find that exercising helps, it puts me back in my body instead of my mind and I can sweat though the emotion. I agree that avoiding contact is a great way to go to set up healthy boundaries for yourself. Although, I have a hard time setting those boundaries when he reaches out to me, and it always leaves me confused (so be careful of that I suppose).
Best of luck.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I'm very sorry for the loss of your boyfriend.



My suggestion for getting over him is to go no contact. Block him, unfriend him, pay no attention to whether or not he is dating.

It hurts so much now. I'm sorry.

You will heal in time.

I agree with this. I’m sorry for your loss.