Is he the abuser or am i? help

Sigh...this just so unhealthy.

First, it's okay to need help. Even adults need other people to lean on in their lives. No one deals with anything alone. We all need people to talk to.

Second, PLEASE see a therapist or even talk to your family or a close friend about what this guy is doing to you. You were on those meds to help you. He wanted you to stop taking them, even though they helped you, because of some side effects to your mood? This is your health and life we are talking about.

It's okay to like being submissive and BDSM, this isn't about that. What he is doing is beyond controlling, it's manipulative, and he isn't concerned with your health and well-being, which any partner, regardless of sexual lifestyle, will care about.

PLEASE see a therapist. And tell them everything you told us here.

I would also recommend you just cut off this guy completely. He is abusing you and hurting you. Getting him out of your life is imperative. I know it seems like maybe you won't find anyone else. But you are young and I assure you there are other men out there who will treat you with respect.

Seesaw

I used to have an eating disorder and social phobia, and just general anxiety like most people. The medication actually did help in a way. Sir said they made me numb and drugged up and that it was disgusting. That he didn´t want to speak to some drugged up *insert bad word here*
I disagree with him completely but i still stopped taking them. Thank you for caring and replying to my post.

I’d have to say that no, most people don’t have general anxiety. Many do. There is really nothing that “most” people have.

I’d go to your doctor and let him know that you stopped meds and ask if you still need it. It’s very concerning that this abuser control your medication intake. That’s extreme level of abuse. He is a horrible human being who is praying on vulnerable young women.

You´ll probably dislike me now, making a post about how "bad" he is and then defending him. He´s as young as me, no one has their **** together at 18. He´s not like most guys who´ll pretend to be sweet and loving on the outside but secretly check out other girls butts. Sir is strong and special and the world may never understand what we have. I know better now than to accuse him of being "abusive" I´ve read about women who have been abused, or men even. Abusers are horrible and Sir would agree with me that they are pathetic remnants of human souls. Sir may be stern with me sometimes but only because in my soul, deep in my heart, i love it.

You´ll probably dislike me now, making a post about how "bad" he is and then defending him. He´s as young as me, no one has their **** together at 18. He´s not like most guys who´ll pretend to be sweet and loving on the outside but secretly check out other girls butts. Sir is strong and special and the world may never understand what we have. I know better now than to accuse him of being "abusive" I´ve read about women who have been abused, or men even. Abusers are horrible and Sir would agree with me that they are pathetic remnants of human souls. Sir may be stern with me sometimes but only because in my soul, deep in my heart, i love it.

Reminds me of song lyrics, can’t remember who sings it tho.
“A kiss with a fist is better than none”

We are going around in circles fluffy, all the advice has been given, all the wisdom dropped, is there something more we can offer you?
If you haven’t already I would suggest that you start from the beginning and read this entire thread again.

I got this far:


Every single one of those paragraphs points out another way that he is abusive, controlling, narcissistic and a person you need to get away from. I didn't even need to read anymore in fact just about stopped at


I'm baffled as to why you actually have to ask the question as you so aptly pointed out everything very clearly that shows how this person is abusive. there must be a part of you that already knows this and you're just here for confirmation. But really, do you need it? Get out of the friendship, get away from this person and do not look back.

How did he find out what you tell your therapist???

Good question.....I hardly remember. I told him literally everything going on in my life. Told him my therapist did not like him. Not a smart move by me. There was a lot of therapy related drama in our relationship. My friends got so worried about me (i think?) that they visited my therapist and we had an awkward session with all my friends and the therapist.
Sir claims my therapist was shady and bad, and that he liked me. Sir was in therapy too at the time, but the therapist quit, hah...

You said before that you don't have friends. Now you are mentioning friends. Are they not your friends anymore?

Are you in college? If so what’s your major ?