[Erecura]

I have a partner. We've been together for a year and 3 months and we've been living together for 5 months.

At first I was really charmed by his amazing social skills, sense of humor, knowledge and his looks as well. We had a good chemistry and I liked to spend my time with him. I wasn't sure about starting a relationship with him at first, because when we met, I was just about to go to study abroad for 10 months. But he changed my mind and we agreed to be in a long distance relationship.

After the first half year it was really nice and he agreed to spend the rest of my studying abroad with me. He moved to the city where I was studying and found a job there. After my studies he got into his dream university to study the subject of his dreams, but we had to move back to our home city. I didn't want to at first, I wanted to stay abroad, but because of him, I've changed my mind.

After some time I started to be annoyed by his extreme extroversion. Anywhere we went together, he grabbed all the attention at himself, constantly joking, laughing and being the clown and the life of every party. I just thought it was too much and his need for attention just started to get on my nerves. He always needs to have something funny to say to make people like him, he can't stay quiet or just observing, he always needs to be the one who talks the most, knows the most and makes sure everyone is looking at him.
I had thought that this is just his only issue and that I could get over it, but later I've learnt about the fact that he's extremely competitive as well. Everything is a competition for him. I often do things just for fun, but he always turns it into a competition. I pushes my most vulnerable spots, because we're both good at very similar things and he always shows me how much better than me he is, or at least he tries to.
He is also super proud on his knowledge and he often makes me seem like I'm totally stupid, because he loves to talk about all the facts that he's learnt with such an arrogance and grace.

He also often tells me that I'm lazy and that I waste my potential, because he's a workaholic and I'm quite easy-going and leisurely.

But what really troubles me the most is how competitive he is. Even though I'm not as hard working as he is, it's important for me to be successful and noticed for my abilities too. But he always grabs all the attention on himself or ridicules me by showing how much better he can do something...
I once even told him that I think he's too competitive and he told me, that I'm the one who tries to be better than others, not him. Which is totally not true...

Whenever I try to talk with him about this, he turns it all on me, or he makes himself a victim of a traumatic childhood.

Lately I've been noticing only the bad things about him and I can hardly find something good. I don't know if it's just a period that will pass, or if this is a serious crisis. I think this been going on for about a month and he somehow always does something else to provoke me or to make me sad. He told me that he thinks, that we're fine and it's just that I'm not in a good mood. I don't know, he might be right, I'm moody.

Anyway... I'd like to hear some other opinions as to what might be happening between us and if this seems like a serious crisis, or like something that might pass sooner or later. If is this a serious crisis, how can I make him talk about these issues without turning them on me, or victimizing himself?

It´d be one thing if he had certain bad qualities but also many great ones to balance it out. From what you wrote it seems like he has hardly any good qualities. So what´s the point in continuing a relationship with him?

[Bill3]

how can I make him talk about these issues without turning them on me, or victimizing himself

You cannot make him do this.

Lately I've been noticing only the bad things about him and I can hardly find something good.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

[FallDuskTrain]

How long into the relationship did you start seeing his real colors (which are concerning, in my opinion)?
Also, i think you know the answer to the question. Listen to your guy feeling because it smells bad.
It might impact your self esteem to be in such an intimate relationship with him.

[Patagonia]

When we meet others we only see one side. We put our best selves out there. We got along.
After some time passes we start to see the shadow sides of the other person. Things we may not like. This is valuable information to have. Whether we can love the shadow side of someone or not.

Carl Jung writes about this dark shadow side & maybe some research into this psychology might help???