Any tips for not snapping at others? This has been impacting my work relationships. I think I get stressed and angry and it shows. Maybe some calming techniques?

I've also considered that I am too worried about this and the anxiety is preventing me from reaching back out. I'm in a strained mental state and am finding it hard to shake off the anxiety. Also, sometimes, I can be blunt if I'm anxious about things, and I think it puts people off. Do you have any tips for that?

Thanks very much. I'm also trying to ask more questions instead of following other people's assumptions about me and what I'm saying. I would like to be clear and easy to work with, but not have to be mean when I want to stand up for myself.

Let me know if it would be helpful for me to describe a specific situation. I don't want to, which is why I haven't included it here, but I will if it would help.

[healingme4me]

I'm not certain what type of work you do and certainly am not asking as your preference to not have to go into details, I can respect. I'm trying to think of some examples as I start to type as my workplace can certainly carry with it a multitude of stressful moments of a variety of sets of circumstances. I do have anxiety that noone would begin to suspect of me. So as someone who hides their anxiety and has sorted out for myself ways to handle stress and my own way of addressing criticisms I'm going to try to give some advice.

I must admit it took some book reading, article reading, CBT and a willingness to change my own sensitivities.

Try to stay grounded/centered in the moment when you can. Take a deep breath or two before addressing the request or question. Stick to work related topics the best you can. Try to picture that as anxiety ridden as you feel that the other person is just as anxious/stressed. Repeat requests back for clarity and as a way to allow your brain neurons to connect for clarity. Grit your teeth in a forced smile if the person just really seems to hit some nerve deep breath at the same time.

Books like John Lee's "Facing the Fire" can help. That one I highly recommend because it really helped me connect the dots. All books about being an adult child of dysfunctional homelife, etc were insightful but that one helped me see where and why my emotions felt like an overreaction. I wasn't an angry, angry person before but my emotions never seemed to line up.

I'm not sure what else to add at the moment but I'm confident others will have some other insights.

[magicalprince]

I think the gateway to empathy is understanding. A thought is: do you feel like you understand others?

[Bill3]

It is really good that you have had an insight into something about yourself that you would like to change, and have become motivated to truly make some changes. These are the most important steps to change and growth.

Here are two ideas.

1. This article is about limiting instant reactions by looking at your emotions in the moment:

https://tricycle.org/magazine/power-...moment-method/

2. You might be interested in the STOP technique and a video about it:

S = Stop

T = Take a breath

O= Observe something

P = Proceed

Originally Posted by magicalprince

I think the gateway to empathy is understanding. A thought is: do you feel like you understand others?

I think I have absorbed most tropes about the way people act and what people secretly desire. This is from reading a lot of fan fiction. I find it helpful in understanding what people want in relationships that they can't express.

But no, I have not learned much from my own life about understanding and interacting with others. I've been very isolated.

[seesaw]

I think if you're finding that you're snapping a lot at others that if you just try to slow down your responses for awhile. Just make an honest effort to be aware before you respond and take a deep breath, even say, "I need to think about this for a second," if you need to.

Maybe you can work on some CBT strategies with your therapist?

Seesaw